All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?
There is a pressing environmental problem related to
the
atmospheric Correct article usage
apply
pollution
and according to
the concerning
authorities, the major factor associated with it is the Replace the word
concerned
consumption
of cars
which operated
mainly on fossil fuels and now the major audience is in Wrong verb form
operate
the
favour, to put the ban on these vehicles and switch to the those, whom engine is powered by electricity.I completely agree with Correct article usage
apply
this
concept as production
and Correct article usage
the production
consumption
of fossil fuel not only effects
land and its creatures negatively but is Correct your spelling
affects
also
major
source of atmospheric Add an article
a major
pollution
.
First of all, production
and refining of oil and petrol Correct article usage
the production
required
Wrong verb form
require
extensive
filtration process which is performed through Correct article usage
an extensive
heavy duty
equipment, which not only Add a hyphen
heavy-duty
consume
a lot of electricity in Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
form
of energy, Correct article usage
the form
thus
wasting
major resources. Not only that, the dumping of waste material in water creates Wrong verb form
wastes
landfill
, which is impossible to clean. These wastes from landfills Correct article usage
a landfill
transfers
to the aquifers, rivers and streams and when consumed by marine life, it not only is Change the verb form
transfer
hazardous
for themCorrect word choice
apply
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
the
consumers. Change preposition
for the
For instance
, from the samples of streams near east
coast of Add an article
the east
Arabian
Correct article usage
the Arabian
sea
, it is observed that they contain Capitalize word
Sea
large
amount of silica, which Add an article
a large
consumption
not only causes silicosis but also
creates a silica ring in retina
, Add an article
the retina
thus
effecting eye-sight
.
Correct your spelling
affecting eye sight
Furthermore
, the utilization of diesel and petrol in cars
and buses releases poisonous smog which consisted
of many harmful gases like carbon-mono-oxide and carbon-di-oxide gas which not only causes lung cancer in human beings but Wrong verb form
consists
also
harms the ozone layer due to
which the world-ozone barrier is
severely depleted and green-house effect Unnecessary verb
apply
is produce
. Change the verb form
is produced
This
not only raises the temperature of world
Add an article
the world
due to
emission
of cosmic rays but glaciers Correct article usage
the emission
also
started to melt. For instance
, Ice
of the Correct article usage
the Ice
glacier
of Iceland and Fix the agreement mistake
glaciers
Correct article usage
the Artic
Artic
Ocean is melting continuously which has Correct your spelling
Arctic
direct
impact Add an article
a direct
the direct
of
Change preposition
on
atmosphere
and climate changes occur drastically Correct article usage
the atmosphere
and
I personally believe it is Correct word choice
apply
most
common cause of climate change globally.
The solution Correct article usage
the most
of
Change preposition
to
this
problem is utilizing the
electric and hybrid Correct article usage
apply
cars
. The government already reduces
the subsidy on Wrong verb form
reduced
import
of electric Correct article usage
the import
cars
and local variant
are Fix the agreement mistake
variants
also
launching. For
example
the Hyundai releases its first Corolla Hybrid car. Add a comma
example,
In addition
to that celebrities and stars are investing in Tesla cars
which have zero smoke emission and reduces
environmental Correct subject-verb agreement
reduce
pollution
.
To conclude
, I believe that In order to cater the
environmental needs of our surroundings and reduction of Change preposition
for the
pollution
both in
land and Change preposition
on
the
environment, Change preposition
in the
ban
on Add an article
a ban
the ban
consumption
of fossil Correct article usage
the consumption
fuel
is mandatory, so that Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
majority
can adapt to Correct article usage
the majority
usage
of Add an article
the usage
electric
and hybrid Replace the word
electricity
cars
.Submitted by mahambaqai on
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Structure
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and coherence.
Accuracy
Make sure to proofread your essay to catch any typographical or grammatical mistakes that might detract from your message.
Relevance
Try to directly relate your examples and reasoning back to the main argument more explicitly in each paragraph to strengthen your argument.
Introduction/Conclusion
You provided a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly stated your position on the topic, contributing significantly to the coherence of your essay.
Examples
The use of specific examples, such as the situation with the Arabian sea or the mention of Tesla cars, effectively supports your main points and adds credibility to your arguments.
Task Response
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and a comprehensive response to the task requirements, with relevant examples supporting your views.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.