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Writing Samples
Band 4

The pictures illustrate the changes in Shipsmouth between 1995 and 2010.

#pictures #changes #shipsmouth
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The maps show how Shipsmouth developed over a 20-year period from 1995 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 there were significant changes in facilities, the
city
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
 and the station remained at the original site. Looking into detail, regarding the big changes, the trees in the southwest of the
city
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
 were cut down to make way for new apartment blocks and
also
Linking Words
 just below it the factory was demolished to build a shopping
centre
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the waterfront to the east, opposite the
city
Use synonyms
centr
Correct your spelling
centre
, a new football stadium was constructed and opposite the station, to the east, the trees were cleared and replaced by an airport.
However
Linking Words
, the houses
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right of the
city
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
 were demolished to
errect
Correct your spelling
erect
 skyscrapers. In terms of small changes,
while
Linking Words
 the old station in the north remained unchanged, a new one was built in the south of Shipsmouth. The road which
run
Change the verb form
runs
show examples
 through the
city
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
pedestrianised
Add a missing verb
was pedestrianised
show examples
 and the church in the southeast was converted into a pub.
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Task Achievement
Consider adding a conclusion that summarizes the major developments over the 15 years for a rounded completion of your task.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, try to link your ideas and paragraphs more smoothly with a variety of transitional phrases.
Task Achievement
Be attentive to detail accuracy, as the period mentioned initially and in the overall description varies (20-year period vs 15 years).
Task Achievement
Your overview effectively summarises the major changes, providing a clear picture of the development in Shipsmouth.
Coherence and Cohesion
You successfully presented the developments with specific examples, making your description vivid and informative.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, dividing the description into overall changes, significant changes, and smaller modifications, which aids understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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