Difference between countries is becoming less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share some fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and tv channels. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays , It is hard to recognize the
difference
between Fix the agreement mistake
differences
the
nations because most Correct article usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
share commom
interests in fashion,Correct your spelling
common
foods
,Fix the agreement mistake
food
brands
and tv
channels . Correct your spelling
TV
Although
, young
generation Correct article usage
the young
loosing
their traditional roots , I believe that Replace the word
losing
this
trend has more advantages then
drawbacks , Replace the word
than
people
respect each other culture by sharing common
platform.
The main Add an article
a common
drawbacks
behind Fix the agreement mistake
drawback
this
trend is that young generations are not attached with
their Change preposition
to
culture
roots anymore . Replace the word
cultural
Youth
Fix the agreement mistake
Youths
are
like to follow the new Unnecessary verb
apply
brands
and want to become a fashion icon by wearing new brands
instead
of trying their traditional outfits on the events . For example
, in India , most of the college students in the past year wear
traditional clothes but Wrong verb form
wore
nowdays
they are more influenced by Correct the word
nowadays
western
outfits . Capitalize word
Western
However
, due to
these trends
Add a comma
trends,
people
are connecting more irrespective of their background and shares
Correct subject-verb agreement
share
the
common Correct article usage
apply
food
too.
There are major benefits of sharing the
common Correct article usage
apply
food
and brands
such
as people
can experience vast
variety of Add an article
a vast
the vast
food
and explore each other cultures . Majority
of Correct article usage
The majority
people
likely to adapt Add a verb
people are
people were
new
things and feel happy by making new connections . Change preposition
to new
Additionally
, people
also
feel closer and accepted by others gives them relief .For example
, Immigrants start adapting the
lifestyle of the country in which they are living Change preposition
to the
in
and they feel happy and satisfied , it becomes hard to recognize them.
In conclusion , there is no doubt that nations are becoming hard to differentiate because Change preposition
apply
people
almost sharing
Wrong verb form
share
same
sense of fashion , Add an article
the same
food
and other entertainment sources. I think that males and females feel more connected and satisfied with the varities
of options they have to choose from.Correct your spelling
variety
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on
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structure
Consider refining your essay structure with a stronger thesis statement in your introduction to guide readers through your argument more clearly.
clarity
Work on developing clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to ensure each paragraph's main idea is immediately clear.
details
Include more varied and specific examples to support your arguments, enhancing the persuasive power of your essay.
style
Pay attention to maintaining consistent and formal language throughout your essay to enhance professionalism.
accuracy
Proofread your essay to catch and correct minor grammatical errors and improve overall readability.
response
You effectively addressed the essay prompt, presenting both sides of the argument before stating your viewpoint.
structure
Your essay shows a good attempt at structuring ideas logically, particularly in organizing paragraphs around specific points.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the arguments made in the body of your essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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