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Writing Samples /
Band 7

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The following bar charts depict what
graduate
 and postgraduate
students
 did after leaving college excluding full-time
work
, in 2008. Those activities include part-time
work
, voluntary
work
,
further
 study and unemployment.
Overall
, we can observe that the majority of people
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both graduates and postgraduates preferred to continue their studies. And the least
number
 of them decided to do voluntary
work
.
Also
, it is worth
to admit
Change the verb form
admitting
show examples
 that the
number
 of
graduate
students
 in the UK was way more than the
number
 of postgraduate
students
, in 2008.
Also
, the
number
 of unemployed people was way less in the
number
 of
postgradutes
Correct your spelling
postgraduates
postgraduate
 than in the
number
 of
graduate
students
. 17735
graduate
students
 decided to do part-time
work
, 3500 of them did voluntary
work
 and 16235 were unemployed. And almost 30000
students
 continued their studies. The
number
 of postgraduate
students
 that did part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and continued their studies was almost the same, 2535 and 2725, respectively. Only, 345 postgraduate
students
 did voluntary
work
.
Finally
, 1625
students
 were unemployed.
Submitted by intiqam.hasanov on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduate, students, work, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼

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