There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work.
It is claimed by some individuals that non-academic
subjects
, such
as physical education and cookery
, ought to be cancelled from the school
syllabus so that students
have the opportunity to focusing
on academic work. In my opinion, both non-academic and academic Change the verb
focus
subjects
should be taught children
by the Change preposition
to children
school
.
First of all, some students
have natural skills
, which are close with
non-academic Change preposition
to
subjects
such
as physical education and cookery
. To be more specific, these children should focus on their work in order to gain the majority of money in the future. For instance
, in some schools, students
have skills
which are cookery
and
they cannot learn academic Correct word choice
but
subjects
such
as math, physics, geography and so on. If people who study in school
concentrate their
Change preposition
on their
works
, teachers are able to Fix the agreement mistake
work
exploring
these Change the verb
explore
skills
on
Change preposition
in
students
. Individuals who have natural skills
can work on themselves and their skills
will be improve
.
Another point worth noting is that all Change the verb form
be improved
subjects
play a vital role in individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
students
can try to learn both non-academic and academic Capitalize word
Students
subjects
, even though it is believed by some people that non-academic subjects
can be ignored. Life of children is not only close with
academic Change preposition
to
subjects
because students
can suffer from cooking something. Therefore
, all of subjects
should be learned Add an article
the subjects
students
by the school
.
In conculusion
, the number of people who support removing Correct your spelling
conclusion
of
non-academic Change preposition
apply
subjects
that are increasing day by day at an alarming rate. I am concerned that all subjects
such
as cookery
, math and so on, are crucial in Correct article usage
an individuals
individuals
entire lifeChange noun form
individual's
Submitted by writingbhos on
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coherence cohesion
Attempt to present arguments in a more organized manner, ensuring each paragraph focuses on a distinct idea.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures to enhance clarity and reduce repetition.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address the prompt, fully exploring the implications of removing non-academic subjects and how it affects students.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support claims about the importance of non-academic subjects in schools.
task achievement
Addresses the importance of both academic and non-academic subjects in education.
coherence cohesion
Includes a conclusion that reflects on the overall argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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