Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?
There is no denying that the trend of banning
sports
involving violence
from TV
and international competition
has become more widespread in recent years.Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
this
essay will discuss whether banning sports
that involve violence
from TV
or not.
To begin
with,there are many factors take
an important rule in the Correct pronoun usage
that take
opinionvthat
says Correct your spelling
opinion that
sports
which involve violence
shoulb
be banned from Correct your spelling
should
TV
and international competition.Firstly
,the damage that may happen to the player as well as
the injuries.In other
words
players who play Add a comma
words,
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
violence
Replace the word
violent
sports
such
as boxing and martial arts their Correct article usage
a chances
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
to get
injuries that Change preposition
of getting
effect
their whole life is higher than Correct your spelling
affect
other
Change preposition
in other
sports
. Not only it may end many people
lives,but Change noun form
people's
also
it encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
people
especially young children to play these violence
Replace the word
violent
sports
.Therefore
, many children will get harm
and get Wrong verb form
harmed
cronic
injuries.
In terms of. There are many Correct your spelling
chronic
people
enjoy
playing Correct pronoun usage
who enjoy
this
kind of sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
as well as
watch
it.Wrong verb form
watching
However
, it contains many violence
and blood Replace the word
violent
scens
.It is Correct your spelling
scenes
screens
scent
also
possible to say that people
find these violence
Replace the word
violent
sports
as a way to empty their negative energy.Moreover
,learning these sports
rather than other
will help you Fix the agreement mistake
others
to
defend yourself against Verb problem
apply
crimnals
in emergency Correct your spelling
criminals
sitiuations
.Correct your spelling
situations
For instance
,if you were walking in the streets and there is
gangstars Wrong verb form
were
tryed
to attack you,you Correct your spelling
tried
will
be able to defend Wrong verb form
would
youself
and get out of Correct your spelling
yourself
this
sitiuation
.
In summary,there is no easy answer to Correct your spelling
situation
this
quistion
.On balance,Correct your spelling
question
however
,I tend to believe that violence
Replace the word
violent
sports
should not be banned from TV
as well as
international compitions
because of Correct your spelling
competitions
people
freedom,they have their right to play or watch these Change noun form
people's
sports
.Submitted by suski205 on
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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear and strong thesis statement to guide the reader on your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to improve the flow between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each addressing a single main idea.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments effectively.
General Recommendation
Review grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity and professionalism.
Task Achievement
Consider a more balanced discussion by acknowledging counterarguments and refuting them to strengthen your position.
Task Achievement
You have provided a clear opinion on the topic.
Task Achievement
Good attempt at using examples to support your points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?