Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?

#people #sports #violence #arts #tv #competition

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is no denying that the trend of banning

sports

Use synonyms

involving

violence

Use synonyms

from

Use synonyms

and international

competition

Fix the agreement mistake

competitions

show examples

has become more widespread in recent years.

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss whether banning

sports

Use synonyms

that involve

violence

Use synonyms

from

Use synonyms

or not.

To begin

Linking Words

with,there are many factors

take

Correct pronoun usage

that take

show examples

an important rule in the

opinionvthat

Correct your spelling

opinion that

says

sports

Use synonyms

which involve

violence

Use synonyms

shoulb

Correct your spelling

should

be banned from

Use synonyms

and international competition.

Firstly

Linking Words

,the damage that may happen to the player

as well as

Linking Words

the injuries.

In other

Linking Words

words

Add a comma

words,

show examples

players who play

these

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as boxing and martial arts their

Correct article usage

a chances

show examples

chances

Fix the agreement mistake

chance

show examples

to get

Change preposition

of getting

show examples

injuries that

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

their whole life is higher than

other

Change preposition

in other

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

. Not only it may end many

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

lives,but

also

Linking Words

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

people

Use synonyms

especially young children to play these

Use synonyms

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, many children will get

harm

Wrong verb form

harmed

show examples

and get

cronic

Correct your spelling

chronic

injuries. In terms of. There are many

people

Use synonyms

enjoy

Correct pronoun usage

who enjoy

show examples

playing

this

Linking Words

kind of

Use synonyms

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

watch

Wrong verb form

watching

show examples

it.

However

Linking Words

, it contains many

Use synonyms

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

and blood

scens

Correct your spelling

scenes

screens

scent

.It is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that

people

Use synonyms

find these

Use synonyms

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

as a way to empty their negative energy.

Moreover

Linking Words

,learning these

sports

Use synonyms

rather than

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

will help you

Verb problem

apply

show examples

defend yourself against

crimnals

Correct your spelling

criminals

in emergency

sitiuations

Correct your spelling

situations

For instance

Linking Words

,if you were walking in the streets and there

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

gangstars

tryed

Correct your spelling

tried

to attack you,you

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

be able to defend

youself

Correct your spelling

yourself

and get out of

this

Linking Words

sitiuation

Correct your spelling

situation

. In summary,there is no easy answer to

this

Linking Words

quistion

Correct your spelling

question

.On balance,

however

Linking Words

,I tend to believe that

Use synonyms

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

should not be banned from

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

international

compitions

Correct your spelling

competitions

because of

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

freedom,they have their right to play or watch these

sports

Use synonyms

Submitted by suski205 on Sat Apr 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Ensure a clear and strong thesis statement to guide the reader on your stance.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a variety of linking words to improve the flow between ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each addressing a single main idea.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments effectively.

General Recommendation

Review grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity and professionalism.

Task Achievement

Consider a more balanced discussion by acknowledging counterarguments and refuting them to strengthen your position.

Task Achievement

You have provided a clear opinion on the topic.

Task Achievement

Good attempt at using examples to support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Violent sports
Boxing
Martial arts
International sports competition
Cultural tradition
Economic impact
Revenue
Freedom of viewership
Safety regulations
Desensitization
Negative role modeling
Physical benefits
Discipline
Self-defense
Fitness
Permissible violence
Media influence

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life becomes meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
In this world, having a job with better pay is vital for a living. Some people argue that without a successful profession, a person's career is not complete. I completely agree with this statement and the following essay states points and supports my opinion.
4.5
band
the graph below the number of shops that closed and the number of shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018
The graph illustrates the number of new shops and the number of shops closed in a specific country during the given period.
7
band
The best way to solve the world's environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
In the contemporary world, the issues of the environment are at the forefront of public awareness. These problems, therefore, are tackled by increasing the fuel prices which is the main method. Despite the positive ramifications that may drive the approach, I maintain the opinion that raising people's environment is by far the best approach to deal with it, outlined below.
7
band
As computers can translate quickly and accurately with the development of technology, learning foreign languages is a waste of time.
In an era marked by technological advancements, the proficiency of computers in swiftly and accurately translating languages has led some to argue against the need for learning foreign languages. I strongly disagree with this view, as studying foreign languages offers significant benefits.
4.5
band
Some people think that students should learn a range of practical skills at school (such as car maintenance or accountancy) alongside traditional subjects like maths and physics. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
School is the best place for students to obtain knowledge.Although there are already quite a lot subjects in it, some people strongly convinced that there are range of skills like time and money managing or car driving that they should also learn.From my perspective, its a good point, but i would also like to tell about downsides of this idea.

Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?

Your opinion

Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life becomes meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

the graph below the number of shops that closed and the number of shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018

The best way to solve the world's environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

As computers can translate quickly and accurately with the development of technology, learning foreign languages is a waste of time.

Some people think that students should learn a range of practical skills at school (such as car maintenance or accountancy) alongside traditional subjects like maths and physics. Do you agree or disagree with this view?