Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?

#people #sports #violence #arts #tv #competition

There is no denying that the trend of banning

sports

involving

violence

from

and international

competition

Fix the agreement mistake

competitions

show examples

has become more widespread in recent years.

this

essay will discuss whether banning

sports

that involve

violence

from

or not.

To begin

with,there are many factors

take

Correct pronoun usage

that take

show examples

an important rule in the

opinionvthat

Correct your spelling

opinion that

says

sports

which involve

violence

shoulb

Correct your spelling

should

be banned from

and international competition.

Firstly

,the damage that may happen to the player

as well as

the injuries.

In other

words

Add a comma

words,

show examples

players who play

these

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

sports

such

as boxing and martial arts their

Correct article usage

a chances

show examples

chances

Fix the agreement mistake

chance

show examples

to get

Change preposition

of getting

show examples

injuries that

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

their whole life is higher than

other

Change preposition

in other

show examples

sports

. Not only it may end many

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

lives,but

also

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

people

especially young children to play these

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

sports

Therefore

, many children will get

harm

Wrong verb form

harmed

show examples

and get

cronic

Correct your spelling

chronic

injuries. In terms of. There are many

people

enjoy

Correct pronoun usage

who enjoy

show examples

playing

this

kind of

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

as well as

watch

Wrong verb form

watching

show examples

it.

However

, it contains many

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

and blood

scens

Correct your spelling

scenes

screens

scent

.It is

also

possible to say that

people

find these

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

sports

as a way to empty their negative energy.

Moreover

,learning these

sports

rather than

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

will help you

Verb problem

apply

show examples

defend yourself against

crimnals

Correct your spelling

criminals

in emergency

sitiuations

Correct your spelling

situations

For instance

,if you were walking in the streets and there

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

gangstars

tryed

Correct your spelling

tried

to attack you,you

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

be able to defend

youself

Correct your spelling

yourself

and get out of

this

sitiuation

Correct your spelling

situation

. In summary,there is no easy answer to

this

quistion

Correct your spelling

question

.On balance,

however

,I tend to believe that

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

sports

should not be banned from

as well as

international

compitions

Correct your spelling

competitions

because of

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

freedom,they have their right to play or watch these

sports

Submitted by suski205 on Sat Apr 13 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure a clear and strong thesis statement to guide the reader on your stance.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a variety of linking words to improve the flow between ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each addressing a single main idea.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments effectively.

General Recommendation

Review grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity and professionalism.

Task Achievement

Consider a more balanced discussion by acknowledging counterarguments and refuting them to strengthen your position.

Task Achievement

You have provided a clear opinion on the topic.

Task Achievement

Good attempt at using examples to support your points.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?

Your opinion

Some people believe that the only purposes of film is to entertain. Others say films should have educational value. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

As a result of tourism, many historical building and sites are being damaged beyond repair. What could be done to prevent this?

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some parents believe that children today spend too much time looking at screens. Others argue that this is necessary in the modern world. Discuss both views and give your opinion.