Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?

There is no denying that the trend of banning
sports
involving
violence
from
TV
and international
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
has become more widespread in recent years.
this
essay will discuss whether banning
sports
that involve
violence
from
TV
or not.
To begin
with,there are many factors
take
Correct pronoun usage
that take
show examples
an important rule in the
opinionvthat
Correct your spelling
opinion that
says
sports
which involve
violence
shoulb
Correct your spelling
should
be banned from
TV
and international competition.
Firstly
,the damage that may happen to the player
as well as
the injuries.
In other
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
players who play
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
sports
such
as boxing and martial arts their
Correct article usage
a chances
show examples
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
to get
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
injuries that
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
their whole life is higher than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
sports
. Not only it may end many
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lives,but
also
it
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
people
especially young children to play these
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
sports
.
Therefore
, many children will get
harm
Wrong verb form
harmed
show examples
and get
cronic
Correct your spelling
chronic
injuries. In terms of. There are many
people
enjoy
Correct pronoun usage
who enjoy
show examples
playing
this
kind of
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
as well as
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
it.
However
, it contains many
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
and blood
scens
Correct your spelling
scenes
screens
scent
.It is
also
possible to say that
people
find these
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
sports
as a way to empty their negative energy.
Moreover
,learning these
sports
rather than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
will help you
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
defend yourself against
crimnals
Correct your spelling
criminals
in emergency
sitiuations
Correct your spelling
situations
.
For instance
,if you were walking in the streets and there
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
gangstars
tryed
Correct your spelling
tried
to attack you,you
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
be able to defend
youself
Correct your spelling
yourself
and get out of
this
sitiuation
Correct your spelling
situation
. In summary,there is no easy answer to
this
quistion
Correct your spelling
question
.On balance,
however
,I tend to believe that
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
sports
should not be banned from
TV
as well as
international
compitions
Correct your spelling
competitions
because of
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
freedom,they have their right to play or watch these
sports
.
Submitted by suski205 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear and strong thesis statement to guide the reader on your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to improve the flow between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each addressing a single main idea.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments effectively.
General Recommendation
Review grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity and professionalism.
Task Achievement
Consider a more balanced discussion by acknowledging counterarguments and refuting them to strengthen your position.
Task Achievement
You have provided a clear opinion on the topic.
Task Achievement
Good attempt at using examples to support your points.

Your opinion

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