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Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children’s development as other subjects, so they should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

#art #classes #children’s #development #subjects #school
Although
 some people believe that
art
 classes are important for
children
's development others don't.In
Correct pronoun usage
my opinion
show examples
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
art
 classes are as important for child development as other
subjects
 There are various benefits of
children
 taking
art
 classes
such
 as drawing and painting.
Firstly
children
 need to develop as complete individuals who are
also
 emotional beings
hence
art
 focuses on expressing their imagination and emotional states.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
art
 can always help
children
 in other
subjects
for instance
 in science they may be required to show pictorially various parts of the human body or asked to draw the various processes inside their laboratory.
Apart from
this
art
 can be used as a useful method for play.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
children
 can draw what makes them happy as a form of entertainment when they feel bored. Another positive aspect of arts is that it helps in the neurodevelopment of their brains especially the creative mind,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
show examples
 it can help them make various clay
models
Change the noun form
model
show examples
 statues which is later useful for
subjects
such
 as architecture and making engineering
plansit
Correct your spelling
plans
plans it
plant
 helps them become better observers.The artists of the previous era
such
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 Leonardo da Vinci were great visionaries some of their paintings depict historical events with care given to details making a lasting impression on our minds.
To conclude
 I would reiterate that
art
 is very important if not more important than other
subjects
 as our society is not made of robots and we all have a need to satisfy our emotions and creativity.
Submitted by Kuruppthu55 on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement is presented that directly addresses the question of whether you agree or disagree, making your stance unmistakable from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Try to incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and transitions to enhance the flow of your essay and demonstrate linguistic flexibility.
task achievement
Where possible, include more specific examples or studies to support your arguments, which can enhance the persuasiveness and depth of your essay.
task achievement
You've beautifully emphasized the multifaceted benefits of art classes ranging from emotional expression to enhancing creativity and observational skills.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively reiterates your stance, reinforcing the argument and providing a clear closure.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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