The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the ultimate goal of science should be to enhance human lives. I completely agree with
this
assertion because of medical, technological and environmental benefits.
Linking Words
To begin
with, the Linking Words
improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
on
medicine and technologies have Change preposition
in
an
unprecedented results thanks to scientific research. Indeed, scientists are more likely to manage to cure terminal illnesses, Correct article usage
apply
such
as cancer based on edge-cut technologies and they could achieve to eradicate dangerous diseases from the surface of the earth, resulting in analysing more deeply about human health and living conditions. Linking Words
For example
, medical professors Linking Words
had
succeeded Wrong verb form
have
to prevent
the proliferation of cancer cells in Change preposition
in preventing
patient's
Correct article usage
a patient's
body
.
Apart from health improvements, technological advancements alleviate the daily burdens of people. More Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
presicely
, gadgets and electronic appliances help to free up people's time and energy as they do not require whole attention. Correct your spelling
precisely
For instance
, vacuum cleaners can clean not only carpets or furnitureLinking Words
,
but air Remove the comma
apply
also
since people do not have to mop the floor after vacuuming Linking Words
Correct pronoun usage
their home
home
. Interestingly, the majority of scientific research Fix the agreement mistake
homes
are
conducted to address environmental problems, Change the verb form
is
such
as climate change, resource depletion, and pollution that directly impact the well-being of current and future generations. Linking Words
For example
, through improving the quality of air, water and soil, modern science can Linking Words
extent
Replace the word
extend
the
human lifespans, Correct article usage
apply
as well as
rescue rare species which are on the verge of extinction.
In conclusion, Linking Words
as a result
, science can enhance Linking Words
individual's
life adding health and Correct article usage
an individual's
environment
benefits.Replace the word
environmental
Submitted by kmuxayyo97 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
style
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, presenting a clear position throughout the response. To enhance your essay further, consider varying your sentence structure to add complexity and depth to your argumentation.
grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay to catch and correct minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'more presicely' instead of 'more precisely', to ensure your essay is as polished as possible.
development
While you've provided relevant examples to support your points, further elaboration on how these examples specifically contribute to your argument could make your essay even more compelling. Adding a few sentences to explain the significance of each example will strengthen your position.
structure
You successfully used a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that all support your thesis effectively.
content
Your essay includes a range of relevant examples that effectively support your main points, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.
argument
You've made a compelling argument for the importance of science in improving people's lives, covering several key areas such as health, technology, and the environment.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.