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Writing Samples
Band 7

the diagram below show the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the diagram below show the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #floor #plan #library #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The diagram below illustrates the changes in the floor plan in a central library between 20 years ago and today
Overall
Linking Words
, looking at the picture, it is obvious that most of the
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 changed, and some rooms have even been expanded.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the two tables and chairs that were located in the middle of the library were removed. On the left side,
instead
Linking Words
 of
CD’s
Change noun form
CDs
show examples
, videos and computer games, they changed it into
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 for storytelling events which included 2 added sofas and fiction
books
Use synonyms
 for children. The section of adult fiction
books
Use synonyms
 was replaced
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 all reference
books
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the reading
room
Use synonyms
 from the previous plan became a computer
room
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, on the right side, a
room
Use synonyms
 with children’s
books
Use synonyms
 was switched to a Lecture
room
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a section of adult non-fiction
books
Use synonyms
 was reconstructed and became a section of adult fiction
books
Use synonyms
 with an information desk and some self-service machines. An enquiry desk was replaced
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a cafe.
Submitted by boykomarta1234 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words room, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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