Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree

#parents #children

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modern

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the modern

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world

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world,

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a discussion of

necessity

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the necessity

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for parents of

overweighted

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overweight

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kids to be legally restricted

become

Correct subject-verb agreement

becomes

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a problem.

This

Linking Words

essay agrees with the previous statement because of the fact that obese children's weight leads to poor health

condition

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conditions

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and bullying at

the

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apply

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school.

To begin

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with, the great majority of

the

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apply

show examples

young people with

excesieve

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excessive

pounds struggle with

hormanal

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hormonal

imbalance

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imbalances

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and different diseases.

Firstly

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, there is an existing medical fact that a lot of

illnesess

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illnesses

can be prevented by

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nutrishious

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nutritious

diet and regular

exercises

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exercise

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Also

Linking Words

eating habits are

forming

Wrong verb form

formed

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

childhood and for adults it is harder to change the way they used to eat to avoid any

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apply

show examples

harmfull

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harmful

followings in the future.

For instance

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USA

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the USA

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have

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has

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a common problem of

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apply

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obesity and the huge

persent

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per cent

of those people

suffering

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suffer

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with

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from

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

diabetus

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diabetes

diabetic

and

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apply

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heart failure. Another reason to control these parents is

mental

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the mental

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issues of a kid caused by

bulling

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bullying

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. It's not a secret that students can be very violent to their peers who do not match beauty standards.

Furthermore

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, even adults often shame

childrens

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children

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for their

appearence

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appearance

. All these factors are forcing young people to hate themselves and

evolving

Verb problem

develop

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low self-esteem.

For example

Linking Words

, in

korean

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Korean

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schools

bulling

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bullying

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is a problem of enormous size, many teenagers nowadays are refusing to attend classes and

struggles

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struggle

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with severe depression.

To conclude

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, it is needed to mention that parents of fat kids should be controlled by

government

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the government

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Or in

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a bad

case

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case,

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their children's health will be in danger and they will meet

agression

Correct your spelling

aggression

from the world.

Submitted by sofakruglova2002 on Sat Apr 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structure to enhance readability and flow.

task achievement

Include a broader range of vocabulary to better express your arguments and make your essay more engaging.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your paragraphs are well-organized, each starting with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting information.

task achievement

Try to clearly state your position in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion for a stronger argumentative impact.

coherence cohesion

You effectively structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

Your essay includes relevant examples and reasons supporting your viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

The topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph clearly indicate the main point you will discuss.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
genetics
socio-economic status
nutritional education
physical activity programs
adverse effects
mental health issues
responsibility sharing
implementation
privileged families
supportive environment
lifestyle changes
educational campaigns

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Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree

Your opinion

You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter, introduce yourself describe the problems explain what type of room you would prefer

Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become disciplined. Others argue that teenagers should not sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discusee both views and give your opinion.

More and more people are working from rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The most important aim of science be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some are of the opinion that people are naturally born as good leaders while others feel that leadership skills can be learned.Discusd both views and give your opinion.