these days many young people are spending less time doing outdoor activities such as hiking, mountain climbing, and enjoying nature. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage them to do more of these activities? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #time #activities #mountain #nature

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Nowadays,

youths

Use synonyms

do not prefer to do

outdoors

Replace the word

outdoor

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as hiking, climbing mountains, and enjoying

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

beautiful nature.

This

Linking Words

is a very vital problem that requires a range of

pratical

Correct your spelling

practical

ideas to

encourge

Correct your spelling

encourage

them to do more of these

activities

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss the reasons and suggest some solutions and innovative ideas to let them

spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

much

Correct quantifier usage

show examples

time in outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

rather than other

activities

Use synonyms

. On the one hand , there are varied reasons for youngesters to

avoiding

Wrong verb form

avoid

show examples

outdoors

Replace the word

outdoor

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

one

Capitalize word

One

show examples

essential reason for

this

Linking Words

is the

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

that has access to the internet and has a lot of social media

such

Linking Words

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

show examples

Correct your spelling

and Twitter.

In other words

Linking Words

, young people prefer to sit chatting and watching videos on the

interet

Correct your spelling

Internet

indoors

instead

Linking Words

of getting outside. Another reason is that most outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

require paying money

such

Linking Words

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

clubs.

For example

Linking Words

, some clubs require monthly

subscription

Fix the agreement mistake

subscriptions

show examples

for playing sports

such

Linking Words

as tennis, football,

swimming

Correct word choice

and swimming

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

, some

activities

Use synonyms

require skills and

special

Correct article usage

a special

show examples

enivorment

Correct your spelling

environment

such

Linking Words

as mountain climbing which is not available in most countries

beside

Change preposition

besides

show examples

dangers

Correct article usage

the dangers

show examples

that may occur from these sports. On the other

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

therw

Correct your spelling

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

differance

Correct your spelling

different

ways to encourage youngsters to do

outdoors

Replace the word

outdoor

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, the government should provide free

activities

Use synonyms

to motivate them to go to the clubs .

As a result

Linking Words

, the

youths

Use synonyms

will love to practice these

activities

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

local

Correct article usage

the local

show examples

community and government should

held

Change the verb form

hold

show examples

various

competition

Fix the agreement mistake

competitions

show examples

locally and

gloabaly

Correct your spelling

globally

so that the young people can participate and

improved

Wrong verb form

improve

show examples

. As shown different kinds of things should be taken

Change preposition

into

show examples

consideration to help the

youths

Use synonyms

practice

outdoors

Change the word

outdoor

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

. To

sump

Correct your spelling

sum

show examples

up, There is an agreement between all people that knowing the reasons for making

youths

Use synonyms

abandon

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

outdoors

Replace the word

outdoor

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

will help us to know the effective solutions for

this

Linking Words

issue.

Thus

Linking Words

, returning

youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

to do more from

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

Submitted by monahhj123 on Sat Apr 13 2024

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Sentence Structure

Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and interest. Including a mix of complex and compound sentences can make the text flow more smoothly.

Transition Phrases

To improve coherence, explicitly link your paragraphs with clear and varied transition phrases that guide the reader through your argument.

Specific Examples

Provide specific examples to support your points. These examples do not necessarily have to come from studies or research but can be drawn from personal experiences, observations, or hypothetical situations.

Proofreading

Ensure you proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical inaccuracies and spelling errors for a polished final submission.

Introduction and Conclusion

Focus on expanding your introduction and conclusion to more effectively bookend your essay. A well-defined introduction should present your thesis and outline your argument, while the conclusion should summarize key points and restate the thesis in light of the evidence presented.

Engagement with Topic

Try to engage more directly with the topic by offering deeper insights and analysis of why the trends you describe are occurring, and be more specific in your suggestions for solutions.

Task Response

You've addressed both parts of the question by discussing reasons for the decline in outdoor activities among young people and suggesting ways to encourage more participation.

Opinion and Argumentation

Your essay provides a clear opinion and attempts to cover the required components of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?