The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of
The first diagram
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
that
land
start to downgrade cause from
land
degradation by using
pie
Add an article
a pie
show examples
chart to show the
percentage
.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
diagram will show info
that
Change preposition
on
show examples
how much
land
did
Verb problem
apply
show examples
it
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
worse and all of
this
info
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
from three
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
of the world. For damage to
land
, excessive feeding amounts to the largest proportion,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
other causes
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the smallest proportion. Losing the forest and growing too many
crops
are both high percentages. But growing too many
crops
are highest and Losing the forest
are Rank
Verb problem
is
show examples
down to second. Growing too many
crops
have 35
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
but losing forest have less than growing too many
crops
for 5
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. The table shows the reasons for damaged soil in three areas of the world. In all three areas
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
North America,
Europe
and
Oceania
.
Europe
has the highest
percentage
of damaged
land
overall
and North America
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
the lowest
percentage
of detriment. For cutting down
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
show examples
and over cultivation
also
the highest but growing too many
crops
Oceania
Change preposition
in Oceania
show examples
is the highest.
For
Change preposition
Overall
show examples
overall
overgrazing
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
very highest score of
damaging
Replace the word
damage
show examples
.
Europe
has the lowest score from the overgraze and
Oceania
has the highest score. The lowest
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overall
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
plant
Wrong verb form
planting
show examples
too many
crops
but now
Oceania
are the lowest and
Europe
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the highest for
grow
Change the verb form
growing
show examples
too many
crops
.
Submitted by nugentsr on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words land, percentage, crops, europe, oceania with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
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