IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagrams below show the life of a species of large fish called the salmon.

The diagrams below show the life of a species of large fish called the salmon.
The following illustrations show the
life
Use synonyms
 cycle of a fish called
salmon
Use synonyms
. There are 3 stages of
life
Use synonyms
 of a
salmon
Use synonyms
 and
according to
Linking Words
 the
stage
Use synonyms
 the name of the fish changes.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see 3 stages of
life
Use synonyms
, starting with
salomon
Correct your spelling
salmon
Salomon
 eggs when they are not certainly a fish yet. And ending with
salmon
Use synonyms
 that lives in an open sea. In the first
stage
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
salmon
Use synonyms
 eggs live in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slow moving
Add a hyphen
slow-moving
show examples
 waters in the upper part of a river, near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
small stones and
reads
Change the verb form
read
show examples
. At
this
Linking Words
 period of their
Use synonyms
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
 they are just 5-6 months old. Afterwards,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 start living in the lower parts of a river with fast flowing. At
this
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
, when they are 3-8 cm, these salmons are cold as fry. During the next
stage
Use synonyms
 of development salmons start living in an open sea. At
this
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
 they are called smolt, here their length varies from 12 to 15 cm.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
last
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
 of
salmon
Use synonyms
's development they are 70-76 cm, and in
this
Linking Words
 case, they are called
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adult
salmon
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words life, salmon, stage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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