Nowadays, we are living on an earth where technology is well-developed and it brings huge changes in the lifestyle of young people they spend most of their time in the range of internet games and watching various TV programs.
Nowadays, we are living on an earth where technology is well-developed and it brings huge changes in the lifestyle of young people they spend most of their
time
in Use synonyms
the
range of internet Correct article usage
a
games
and watching various TV programs. From my point of view, it has a detrimental effect on their health Use synonyms
as well as
upbringing.
At the present Linking Words
time
, many Use synonyms
children
learn various subjects that explore even more other things in the future. They study a lot and need free Use synonyms
time
to relax and unwind to stay healthy. Use synonyms
Therefore
, they want to play Linking Words
games
like the other Use synonyms
children
and watch TV shows in their free Use synonyms
time
and it helps them to get the information the most easily. Use synonyms
In addition
, one of the new technologies is Linking Words
a
mobile phone, nowadays it is very popular among Correct article usage
the
children
and it is convenient for them to bring it everywhere. Many Use synonyms
children
prefer to use it rather than book it has any kind of features which helps them to get many pieces of information easily. Because, bringing books is not comfortable, Use synonyms
but
the telephone is very easy to bring anywhere and they can search for all kinds of information via Correct word choice
apply
Internet
.
Add an article
the Internet
However
, despite the beneficial aspects, there are Linking Words
also
drawbacks. Some Linking Words
children
spend most of their Use synonyms
time
on gadgets like phones, laptops and televisions. They are very harmful to their health. All of them have the noxious effects of strong screen light and it can affect Use synonyms
bad
to their eyes. When they watch more TV or laptop, their eyes get tired from the bright light of the screen. Change the adjective
badly
Furthermore
, young individuals can watch bad videos that are hazardous to their upbringing and education, because these videos will have bad effects and Linking Words
children
will not be able to stop watching Use synonyms
such
videos. Linking Words
As a result
, they will become uninterested in learning and will not concentrate on their studies. Linking Words
For instance
, numerous young individuals became slaves to bad Linking Words
games
and it was difficult for them to get tired of Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
games
because Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
games
deceived Use synonyms
children
and began to control them. the managers of the game gave various bad tasks for the Use synonyms
children
to do and Use synonyms
subsequently
, Linking Words
this
did not lead to a good ending.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
it brings many changes that have both positive and negative impacts on the life of kids I think the weightage of drawbacks is more than the pros.Linking Words
Submitted by ieltsielts81 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly around central ideas, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows logically from the one before.
Task Achievement
It would be beneficial to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points, particularly in discussing the negative impacts of technology.
General
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You've done a good job of addressing the topic and presenting a clear viewpoint on the issue.
Coherence & Cohesion
You successfully outlined both the positive and negative aspects of technology's influence, showing an ability to engage with the topic critically.
Your opinion
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