Today people are using the things and throwing or replacing it with latest models or latest fashion. Do the advantages of throwing away society outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is often argued that more and more married
couples
tend to choose a life without
children
.
Beeing
Correct your spelling
Being
able to prioritize their
career
pathway and having more free
time
can be seen as benefits,
while
having nobody to look after them at a certain age and
families
wanting to spend
time
with other
families
are considered drawbacks.
To begin
with, one of the most commonly used
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
is that individuals can focus more on their
career
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if they do not have
children
.
This
is simply because having a child can be compared to a
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
job.
Parents
need to care for their
children
by providing food, adequate housing and healthy food.
As a result
, many mothers and fathers struggle with
this
and may not have enough
time
to fully commit to their working
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Furthermore
, childless
couples
have more free
time
, because they do not have to supervise any
children
.
Consequently
, they can spend more
time
with their peers or pursue a hobby that turns out to be more
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
.
For example
,
couples
that decide to not have a child can go for drinks with their friends without having to worry about being at home at a specific
time
because their
children
can not be left alone at home.
However
, one of the main drawbacks is that married
couples
do not have anybody to look after them when they
will be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
older.
That is
to say,
children
most commonly are the ones to care for their
parents
, because
that is
what they did when they were younger.
Moreover
,
families
consisting of
parents
and
children
preferably spend their leisure
time
with other
families
.
Consequently
, it might be challenging for them to find a suitable peer group.
This
can lead to a lack of social interaction, which increases the risk of depression
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
anxiety.
For instance
, a lot of
parents
organize play dates, where their
children
can play together,
while
mothers or fathers are able to have a chat. In conclusion,
while
it might seem disadvantageous to have
children
because they may not have anyone to take of them when they are old or
families
decide to do things with other
families
, there are definitely some advantages,
such
as better
career
options and secured free
time
.
Submitted by philipp_becker on

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task achievement
Ensure that you address each part of the prompt thoroughly. Your essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages well, but expanding a bit more on each point could enhance your argument even further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs. However, try using a variety of linking phrases to make your transitions even smoother.
coherence cohesion
Some of your sentences are repetitive, especially when discussing the advantages or disadvantages. Vary your sentence structure to keep the reader engaged.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay, making it easy to follow your arguments.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, which strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • economic growth
  • environmental impact
  • resource depletion
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • technological advancement
  • quality of life
  • social status
  • societal pressure
  • financial stress
  • social inequality
  • sustainability
  • responsible consumption
  • recycling
  • upcycling
  • second-hand
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