IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that older, more traditional buildings in cities should be preserved. Others believe that these buildings should be demolished and new ones built in their place. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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People
Use synonyms
 often debate whether
an ancient buildings
Correct the article-noun agreement
an ancient building
ancient buildings
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 should be built up or destroyed. Some of them consider that they will be landmarks
whereas
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 others believe that they are useless. On the one hand, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that traditional buildings are beneficial for society in many ways.
This
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 is because they help other
people
Use synonyms
 to recognize the unique building of the town.
For example
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, tourists throughout the world travel to different places just to experience alternative traditional values and landmarks so
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this
Correct pronoun usage
these
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 will be attractive things for them. The ancient building
also
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 helps younger children improve their skills in historical
structure
Fix the agreement mistake
structures
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 in a better way.
Thus
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, the unique traditional place will be destroyed if the new apartment
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 built
instead
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.
However
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, there are few
people
Use synonyms
 who think that restoring
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 is not necessary and
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
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 high cost. To illustrate, sometimes building up an old building may use more cost and more time than building a new one.
Moreover
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,
due to
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 the increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 population, someplace
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not able to contain all staff in the building so they need a different that
answer
Correct subject-verb agreement
answers
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 their wants.
For Instance
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, In Maharashtra number of forts and historical telling
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 are preserved for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourist
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
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 in a way
So
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 helps to boost the country's economy
while
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 foreigner comes to know about that place more and more.
In addition
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,
Add an article
the
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government is
also
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 attentive
take
Wrong verb form
to taking
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 part in
create
Change the verb form
creating
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 vigilance about culture in
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
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generation
Change noun form
generation's
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mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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. It
is helps
Change the verb form
helps
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 to conserve culture and history ever and forever. In conclusion, having considered each side of the argument, I am opinion that there are lots of social values and beneficial with the historical
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 to keep
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with our society.

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Introduction & Thesis Clarity
Ensure a clear differentiation between your introductory sentences and your thesis statement. Beginning with a general statement before narrowing down to your specific stance helps clarify your argument for the reader.
Paragraph Structure & Balance
In discussing both views and your opinion, maintain a balanced approach in the body paragraphs. Use topic sentences to introduce each viewpoint clearly, supporting them with examples or reasons, and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for coherence.
Language Variety
Aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to express your ideas. Variety in language not only demonstrates your language proficiency but also keeps the reader engaged.
Conclusion Strength
Consider concluding your essay by summarizing the arguments presented and reiterating your opinion clearly. This helps to reinforce your stance and provides a satisfying closure to your argument.
Essay Structure
You have a clear structure that navigates through both views and your opinion, making it easy for readers to follow.
Use of Examples
Your use of examples, such as tourists visiting for traditional values and the economic boost from preserving historical sites, effectively supports your points.
Understanding of Topic
You show a good understanding of the topic with relevant arguments that highlight the importance of preserving historical buildings.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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