IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

#crime #rate #teenagers #countries
In the midst of change , the crime rate is increasing at an alarming rate which is very concerning to society. The most surprising thing to notice is that young people are more involved in crimes in the present scenario . there is a plethora of reasons behind why youngsters are more into crime
such
 as lack of good parenting , social mediation effect of peers and many more . In the succeeding monograph , the main agenda is not only to delve into the setbacks
as well as
 possible remedies to curb
this
 menace
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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Introduction & Task Response
Your introduction sets a good tone for the discussion, indicating an understanding of the task. To enhance your score, consider expanding your essay with more developed paragraphs that discuss the reasons and solutions in detail.
Task Achievement
When discussing reasons and suggesting solutions, including specific examples and elaborating on these points can provide a clearer, more comprehensive response. This would help in achieving a higher score in task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. Using a variety of linking words and ensuring logical flow will make your essay easier to follow.
Conclusion
Remember to include a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position. This gives your essay a strong closing and ties your ideas together cohesively.
Introduction
The essay begins with an engaging introduction that presents the issue at hand effectively.
Content Understanding
You have identified key reasons behind the increase in crime rates among teenagers, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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