Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Education is an absolute
neccesity
for a civilized society. It helps to transfer information between generations in a sophisticated manner using natural language and numbers. The importance of educating youngsters is highly prioritized in many countries to improve their productivity. Correct your spelling
necessity
However
, educating adults
to read or write seems to be ignored.
On one hand, governments need to address this
issue seriously. The increase in illiterate
population might reduce the literacy rate of a country.The uneducated Correct article usage
the illiterate
adults
may involve
in physical violence. They have no knowledge of solving an issue via discussion. Educating these people will increase the chances of these citizens to become more social. Socializing might lead to Wrong verb form
be involved
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
conflcits
and low crime rate and Correct your spelling
conflicts
improving
Wrong verb form
improved
overall
cohesiveness. The skills they developed can be passed through generations through communication. This
might improve the overall
productivity.
On the other hand
, these adults
have spent their life
without the assistance of language. Reading or Fix the agreement mistake
lives
wiriting
might not be a serious matter to them. They have conquered Correct your spelling
writing
few
skills for survival. They are not as curious as a child to learn. Correct article usage
a few
However
, regularly being absent for
the sessions Change preposition
from
due to
lack
of interest might lead to a Correct article usage
a lack
wastage
of financial inputs. Replace the word
waste
This
could alarm the governments to discontinue these programs. However
, providing further
benefits might impact the budget.
Every individual in a
society should be able to read and write regardless of age. Governments cannot always expect a positive outcome instantly from training Correct article usage
apply
adults
. However
,long-term
plan with Correct article usage
a long-term
minimum
budget could be an experiment that could reap its benefits over the years.Add an article
a minimum
Submitted by onlineconsumer on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Grammar & Spelling
Be careful with spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'neccesity', 'conflcits', and 'wiriting'. Correct spelling is crucial even if the overall message is clear.
Content Depth
Expand on your arguments with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your response. You've made several claims, but providing real-world examples or statistical data could make your arguments more convincing.
Tone
Try to maintain a more formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid colloquial expressions that might not be suitable for a formal academic essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking phrases more effectively to ensure a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help improve the coherence and cohesion of your text.
Balanced Argument
You clearly presented both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the importance of adult education alongside the potential challenges it faces.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, giving a clear outline of your argument and summarizing your main points well at the end.
Logical Structure
Your essay is logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of the topic. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.