IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #moment
It is a common belief that the most serious environmental
issue
 is global warming.
However
, I firmly believe that
air
pollution
 is the most pressing environmental problem as
people
 are having difficulty breathing these days.
It is clear that
 global warming has been a big
issue
 as
people
 are suffering from flooding and droughts in some southern parts of the world because of
this
. Taking low-cost airlines, and numerous human activities led to global warming and it apparently increased the sea level.
As a result
, animals in the north polar region are finding it difficult to survive as well.
However
, it is a more persuasive argument that atmosphere
pollution
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 more serious environmental problem than global warming as
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 suffering from microdust these days.
Due to
 the increasing number of cars, developing cities and running more plants make more dust in the
air
.
For instance
, Korean
people
 have been suffering from
air
pollution
 for many years. Every spring, the wind from China brings polluted
air
 so it is hard to see the clear sky in Seoul anymore.
People
also
 need to wear
a masks
Correct the article-noun agreement
masks
a mask
show examples
 so as not to breathe dirty
air
. For these reasons, in my opinion,
air
pollution
 is a
most
Rephrase
more
show examples
 serious
issue
 than global warming as it is directly related to an individual's health and
this
issue
 should be handled by the government globally.
Submitted by hmhy0326 on

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Introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your argument, presenting a brief overview of both sides before stating your stance. This will help set up a strong foundation for your essay.
Coherence
To enhance the flow of your essay, consider using a wider range of linking phrases and transitional words to connect ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs.
Development
Expand on your examples to provide more depth and evidence for your arguments. This could include citing specific studies, statistics, or more detailed scenarios.
Conclusion
In the conclusion, try to succinctly summarize your main points and reiterate your stance in a powerful way that reflects the arguments made throughout the essay.
Content and Examples
You've done a good job outlining the significance of air pollution over global warming with relevant examples such as the situation in Seoul.
Structure
Your essay is structured with a clear introduction, development paragraphs, and a conclusion that reflects your stance. This structure aids in understanding your argument.
Task Response
Your position is clear and maintained throughout the essay, successfully addressing the task and providing a comprehensive response to the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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