some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main sbjects. other believe it is more important to give all their time and attendtion to studying for qualifications. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Recently, some people have argued that students should learn various subjects other than the main field of their study at the university;
by contrast
, others believe that studying for qualifications and majors alone is enough. I think that learning varied topics might be more beneficial for a collegian, both for their experience and in their career, and I will discuss these two opposite views in
this
essay.
Firstly
, staying on track with an individual's academics is highly important. By focusing on the main field of study, the students gain a lot of knowledge and a deep understanding of their major;
thus
, they could get good academic scores.
However
, when scholars had already completed their main tasks, they had spare time to do other activities, which sometimes they spent playing video games or doing leisure things.
For example
, a scholar can use their free time to learn IT or code by watching videos or reading books.
Therefore
, they can acquire new skills that the company will need in the future.
Furthermore
, others believe that having information about other fields might be helpful. It can
also
extend the capabilities of a person.
For example
, if a math graduate learned about communication skills after class,
this
competency could help them interact with others in the class, in an organization, or even in a company after university life.
Thus
, learners might put those skills on their CVs to convince recruiters.
To conclude
, there are pros and cons to whether students should only learn their primary subjects or
also
acquire knowledge from other fields. I firmly believe that gaining an understanding of various topics and subjects is beneficial for both campus and life after graduation
Submitted by yohanatheresia98 on

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structure
Ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs, discussing contrasting views and your opinion with clear topic sentences.
content depth
Consider expanding on the examples provided to further support your arguments, making them more specific and detailed for a stronger impact.
cohesion
Try to include a wider range of cohesive devices and synonyms to enhance the flow and readability of your essay.
introduction
Introduction effectively sets up the discussion and your essay’s structure.
conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarises the discussions and clearly reflects your opinion.
examples
Good use of examples to support your arguments, though they could be further detailed.
structure
Logical structure that aids the progression of your argumentation.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • diversify
  • expand
  • academic pursuits
  • well-rounded education
  • multidisciplinary approach
  • comprehensive understanding
  • broaden one's horizons
  • acquire new skills
  • develop critical thinking
  • resolve complex issues
  • boost employability
  • strengthen one's foundation
  • pursue personal growth
  • achieve career success
  • strike a balance
  • gain an edge
  • mainstream subjects
  • narrow-minded
  • rigorous studying
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