A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashioned values such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In modern times, it seems that old-fashioned values
such
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as kindness,
honor
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honour
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, and trust are less vital than material possessions and social status. I agree with the statement that
people
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who have a prominent role in society have many more acquaintances rather than those who live in poverty, and these individuals who look neat are inherently more appealing to communicate with than that kind but sloppy
person
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. First of all, when a
person
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has a well-paid job, of course, they would be respected by everyone.
As ordinary
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Ordinary
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human beings who do not have an excellent place of work and income will have some material problems, which can be solved by
people
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who have money.
For instance
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, my grandfather had a high salary, and he
has been giving
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gave
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approximately 45% of 2 or 3 million tenge to his relatives and the needy,
by
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apply
show examples
which
he
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apply
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attracted a great number of
people
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to
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apply
show examples
him
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apply
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.
Secondly
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,
people
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who look clean and not messy are attractive and lucky to make new friends quickly. For
the
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this
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reason
that
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apply
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any kind of
person
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will absolutely prefer to talk to an individual who has tidy clothes and good taste in style compared to that messy
person
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who does not look in a mirror.
For example
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,
according to
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a TikToker called
evkasup
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Evkasup
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, who claimed that it is easier and more satisfying to communicate with well-groomed
people
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. In conclusion, modern
people
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's worth,
such
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as social standing and material belongings, is significant
due to
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a
person
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's position in society and their grooming appearance.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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coherence cohesion
Consider diversifying your sentence structures and use a variety of complex sentences to enhance readability.
task achievement
Integrate more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the scope of your essay, and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of overgeneralization. Not all individuals place material possessions above values, and acknowledging exceptions can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You've provided a clear stance on the topic, which is foundational to a coherent argument.
task achievement
Your examples, like the reference to your grandfather and the TikToker, evkasup, offer a real-world perspective that enriches the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
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