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A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashioned values such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person’s #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
In modern times, it seems that old-fashioned values
such
 as kindness,
honor
Change the spelling
honour
show examples
, and trust are less vital than material possessions and social status. I agree with the statement that
people
 who have a prominent role in society have many more acquaintances rather than those who live in poverty, and these individuals who look neat are inherently more appealing to communicate with than that kind but sloppy
person
. First of all, when a
person
 has a well-paid job, of course, they would be respected by everyone.
As ordinary
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Ordinary
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 human beings who do not have an excellent place of work and income will have some material problems, which can be solved by
people
 who have money.
For instance
, my grandfather had a high salary, and he
has been giving
Wrong verb form
gave
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 approximately 45% of 2 or 3 million tenge to his relatives and the needy,
by
Change preposition
apply
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which
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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attracted a great number of
people
to
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apply
show examples
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Secondly
,
people
 who look clean and not messy are attractive and lucky to make new friends quickly. For
the
Correct your spelling
this
show examples
 reason
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
any kind of
person
 will absolutely prefer to talk to an individual who has tidy clothes and good taste in style compared to that messy
person
 who does not look in a mirror.
For example
,
according to
 a TikToker called
evkasup
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Evkasup
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, who claimed that it is easier and more satisfying to communicate with well-groomed
people
. In conclusion, modern
people
's worth,
such
 as social standing and material belongings, is significant
due to
 a
person
's position in society and their grooming appearance.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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coherence cohesion
Consider diversifying your sentence structures and use a variety of complex sentences to enhance readability.
task achievement
Integrate more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the scope of your essay, and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of overgeneralization. Not all individuals place material possessions above values, and acknowledging exceptions can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You've provided a clear stance on the topic, which is foundational to a coherent argument.
task achievement
Your examples, like the reference to your grandfather and the TikToker, evkasup, offer a real-world perspective that enriches the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
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