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Band 4.5

Recent research has confirmed that human activity has become the greatest threat to plant and animal life. Why do you think this has happened? How can we reduce our impact on the natural word?

#research #activity #threat #plant #life #impact #word
According to
 recent research, the detrimental effect on the eco-system brought about by human activities. The environment refers to the surroundings you are in, that’s why the exploitation of nature leads to limited resources. In
this
 essay, I will outline my perspectives and recommendations on
this
 matter. Having said that, the main issue of extinction of a variety of animals is caused by the appropriation of wild
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
show examples
. The high demand for resort areas makes up a reason for a government to destroy the shelters of animals.
Moreover
,
this
 action calls for a huge deforestation, which leads to a threat to plant and animal life.
As a result
,
this
 leads to the
disintegrate
Replace the word
disintegration
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 of the environment to provide basic needs.
On the other hand
, there are multiple ways to solve
this
 problem
such
 as stopping wasting in many aspects. In most
of
Change preposition
apply
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cases, individuals used to consume more sources than they
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 on a daily base.
For instance
, an average person wastes up to 2
liters
Change the spelling
litres
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 of pure water, meanwhile brushing
teeth
Correct pronoun usage
their teeth
his teeth
her teeth
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 every single morning. Respectively, mankind unconsciously limits themselves with raw materials.
Instead
 of doing our business out of habit, we should pay attention to how much we can save for
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 upcoming generation.
To conclude
, the main reason why I am in favour conservation of natural resources is the finite supply nature offers; its abundance is not limitless, and if overexploited, it will eventually deplete.
Submitted by libranefertiti93 on

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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, each serving its specific purpose. This adds to the logical flow and makes it easier for the reader to follow.
Linking Words
Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively. Phrases such as 'consequently', 'thus', or 'as a result' can help to show the connections between your points.
Language Accuracy
Avoid repetition and strive for accuracy in your language. Proofreading can help identify and correct repeated or inaccurate phrases, enhancing the overall quality of your essay.
Supporting Details
Be explicit in your examples. Whenever you mention a claim, try to follow it up with a specific example or detail. This strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.
Introduction
You effectively introduced the topic and presented a clear stance, which is excellent for setting the stage for your discussion.
Content Relevance
You touched on relevant reasons and suggestions regarding the issue, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your points, reinforcing your stance on the importance of conservation, which is crucial for a strong finish.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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