in many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. why is this happening? do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

In order to solve
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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certain problems in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, lots of nations are spending a large amount of money on up-to-date devices.
This
definitely comes from the noticeable convenience of technology and is completely worth paying
high
Correct article usage
a high
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budget on
due to
the fact that it is extremely essential for long-term benefits. There are more and more technologies applied in humans’ daily activities because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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convenience
as well as
efficiency.
In other words
, people can deal with their own issues more easily which involve automation of tasks, digitization of records, and implementation of data analytics to optimize decision-making.
For instance
, nowadays, there are few companies
such
as Vinfast or Toyota, which are going to produce automatic cars in order to satisfy users’ demand in the aspects of reducing rates of accidents and fossil fuels. In
this
globalization era, technology gradually plays a pivotal role in the public
due to
its advantages
in
Change preposition
over
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a long period. There is no doubt that everything in
this
society
tend
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tends
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to become automated;
therefore
, governments all over the world must apply these kinds of modern techniques to ensure
the
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apply
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scalability, interoperability, and adaptability to
the
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apply
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future needs.
As a consequence
, it is significantly worth investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the promotion of high-tech. Take solar panels
for example
, people only need to spend a certain value of budget on
this
equipment, and they can exploit
as well
as
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to
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store natural energy
in
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for
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many years
after
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apply
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without paying any electric bills
as well as
reduce pollution released from fossil fuel. In conclusion, technology gradually become crucial in daily life.
As a result
, investment
on
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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high-tech
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
noticeably suitable in
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
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recent decades
due to
its positive sides.
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sentence structure
Work on varying sentence structures to avoid repetition and make your arguments more engaging.
supporting details
Consider adding more specific examples to support your points. While the examples given are relevant, additional details could further strengthen your argument.
addressing prompt
Aim to address the prompt more directly by specifically explaining why governments are investing in technology and directly stating whether you believe it is an appropriate use of funds.
logical structure
You've done well to create a logical structure that guides the reader through your argument effectively.
introduction and conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, rounding off your essay nicely and reflecting back on the topic.
examples
The examples provided (Vinfast, Toyota, and solar panels) are excellent for illustrating your point about the importance and benefits of investment in technology.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital transformation
  • service delivery
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • tech-savvy
  • contemporary lifestyle
  • public satisfaction
  • data management
  • smart city technologies
  • predictive policing
  • data privacy
  • digital divide
  • inclusivity
  • governance
  • infrastructure
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