In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public.Why is this happening?Do you think is an appropriate use of government money?
In various
state Change preposition
Various
governments
are creating in
new Change preposition
apply
technic
to handle citizens. Correct your spelling
techniques
This
writer believes that this
is a positive development due to
supervise
individuals in their Wrong verb form
supervising
countries
and prevent
them from war in the future.
It must be understood that supervising citizens Wrong verb form
preventing
is help
various Wrong verb form
helps
for
Change preposition
apply
governments
to
control all of Verb problem
apply
information
and news in their Correct article usage
the information
countries
.This
is especially so if there is an application or information on social networks that is
not suitable for beneficial political or economic purposes, the State may block or remove it. For example
, in Vietnam BBC is blocked by administration
, Add an article
the administration
it
means that Correct pronoun usage
which
governments
do not want vietnam
people Correct your spelling
Vietnamese
know
about something Add the particle
to know
Correct pronoun usage
that get
get
out of control.
Another argument worth considering is that machinery can prevent Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
of
almost of bad news and Change preposition
apply
virus
Fix the agreement mistake
viruses
by
hackers from Change preposition
from
another
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
countries
. In other words
, their
are Replace the word
there
have
a lot of hackers Unnecessary verb
apply
can
hack security credentials or bank accounts of large state corporations to extort money.Correct pronoun usage
who can
Consequently
, modern
technology of Add an article
the modern
governments
can be a good way to deal with public
. Add an article
the public
For instance
, according to
an article published in USA
where many terrorists want to attack, they must always have the most advanced and modern technological equipment ready to protect the country.
In conclusion, there are more positive elements than negative, as there are Correct article usage
the USA
clean
benefits to Correct your spelling
clear
government
to avoid Add an article
the government
somethings
bad in the future. Correct your spelling
something
In addition
also
control their
news in their Change the word
the
countries
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structure
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linking
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introduction/conclusion
Your essay could benefit from a more explicit introduction and conclusion. Clearly state your thesis and summarise your main points at the end.
examples
Include more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This enriches your essay and makes your points more convincing.
understanding
You have demonstrated an understanding of the task by discussing the reasons for and benefits of governments' investment in technology.
relevance
You've brought up relevant concerns about security and information control, which are pertinent to the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?