Some people believe that studying for a university degree is better for an individuals career than gaining work experience immediately after highschool. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
While few
individuals prefer pursuing higher Correct word choice
Few
education
is better for a student’s career than gaining work
experience after graduating from high school
. I partially agree with the statement.
On the one hand, majority
of the Correct article usage
the majority
students
opt for continuing higher education
after high school
because by the time they finish university and start a career, they are still young and fresh in the field
. The current financial stability plays a major role in decision making
about the student’s career path. Add a hyphen
decision-making
the
society Correct article usage
apply
also
plays a vital role. For example
, 75% of students
graduating from high school
in India choose to immediately pursue university
Correct article usage
a university
education
because it is considered normal in the
society Correct article usage
apply
over taking
a gap year.
Change preposition
to take
On the other hand
, student opting for work
experience after school
have higher chances of learning the skills required for their respective field
, it also
gives them the opportunity to make a clear decision
on the path they want to select. It helps the students
at a young age to gain confidence and teach them the ethics of workspace making them less likely to anxious
during their first job. In a recent article from The Times of India, it was stated thatAdd a missing verb
be anxious
,
Remove the comma
apply
students
with prior work
experience in the field
have better work life
balance and tend to Add a hyphen
work-life
work
better.
in conclusion, the choice between working or pursuing higher education
should be given to the student’s comfort. Both paths offer great advantages and disadvantages depending on the needs of the student. Consulting seniors and experienced workers in the field
of interest should be considered before making decision
. Add an article
a decision
the decision
Students
should be given counseling
regarding the matter before finishing Change the spelling
counselling
high
Correct pronoun usage
their high
school
diploma which can help making
the Wrong verb form
make
decision
faster.Submitted by prakasharjun1998 on
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Task Response
Your essay clearly addresses the topic, but be careful with the balance of your argument. While you've attempted to discuss both sides, ensure each viewpoint is explored to the same depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors and maintain consistency in your writing style to ensure smoother readability.
Language
Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance your argument's clarity and persuasiveness.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This organization aids in presenting your arguments cohesively.
Task Response
You've effectively addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced approach to the question. This is commendable as it gives depth to your discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.