In some cities, the government has tired to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hours. Do you think this development is positive or negative?
The roads are
more
busier in some metropolitan cities Change the word
apply
due to
high
usage of private Correct article usage
the high
transport
. Although the
leaders are trying to find Correct word choice
The
out
Change preposition
apply
the
ways to reduce Correct article usage
apply
this
congestion and one of them is congestion tax during peak timing. In my opinion, I believe that this
step was
mandatory as it will reduce pollution in many ways. Wrong verb form
is
Furthermore
, public
should be motivated to use public Add an article
the public
transport
by imposing some extra charges on toll
as it will be beneficial for everyone.
Fix the agreement mistake
tolls
To begin
with, the masses are relying upon private transport
rather than public as they feel that the movement is very easy while
using own
vehicle as they do not need to wait Correct pronoun usage
their own
on
bus or tram stops. Change preposition
at
As a result
, it is evident that the cars
Correct quantifier usage
number of cars
are
almost doubled Verb problem
has
than
the Change preposition
in
last
decade. Moreover
, people are spending an enormous amount of time on roads
and Correct article usage
the roads
as a
result
they are unable to maintain their family and work balance. Needless to say Add a comma
result,
that
Correct word choice
apply
this
step will force commuters to use common means of transport
.
On the other hand
, this
high usage has inclined
the level of pollution in almost every country. Verb problem
increased
In addition
to this
, it has given birth to poor health. For instance
, global-warming
has reached Correct your spelling
global warming
to
its Change preposition
apply
peaks
nowadays, Fix the agreement mistake
peak
due to
these insane activities of habitants
. The imposition of traffic tevy will move the traffic Correct your spelling
habitats
to
outside of tax zones and it will not affect the businesses.
Change preposition
apply
To conclude
, these vehicles are surging up the rate of polluted particles in oxygen and giving birth to many diseases, so, government
should make stringent laws to avail the best options to the society.Add an article
the government
Submitted by kaurv083 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the task with a clear position throughout. However, try to develop your arguments with more detailed examples to strengthen the task achievement score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to present clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments. This will enhance coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
While your introduction and conclusion are present and help frame your argument, going into greater detail about how congestion taxes can positively address pollution and public health would make your argument more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Using a range of linking words and structures can improve the flow of your essay. Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and coherence.
Task Achievement
You have provided a clear opinion and maintained it throughout the essay, which is crucial for a strong task response.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example