IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

It is more important to plant trees in towns and cities than to build houses. Do you agree or disagree?

#plant #trees #towns #cities #houses
Nowadays, cities are growing rapidly and
trees
 are cutting off for building residential houses. If
this
 trend continues
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 pace, it might have dangerous consequences. To avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
predicted consequences, it is crucial
to
Change preposition
that
show examples
 more
trees
must
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be planted in town in comparison
of
Change preposition
to
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 building houses.
According to
 rapid urbanization, the weather is going to be worse
day
 by
day
,
to
Correct word choice
and to
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 deal with
such
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
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 the people must plant more
trees
.
Therefore
,
trees
 are a good source of Oxygen beside
this
 it absorbs Carbon
di oxide
Correct your spelling
dioxide
show examples
 and some other detrimental gases.
Moreover
,
trees
 have a great effect on
beauty
Add an article
the beauty
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 of
city
Add an article
the city
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.
In addition
,
trees
 are great accommodation for species of birds.
Additionally
, it is possible to use from wood of old
trees
 on kinds of
industry
Fix the agreement mistake
industries
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 remember that
instead
 of cotted
trees
 new plants should be planted. The cities without plants always have polluted weather which dirty weather can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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cause of variety of
daises
Correct your spelling
diseases
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such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 breathing problems,
headache
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
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 and vision problems.
Lastly
,
human-life
Correct your spelling
human life
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 is directly
depended
Replace the word
dependent
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in
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on
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trees
 because
day
 by
day
 population of
world
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the world
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 is increasing and
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
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 for Oxygen is
also
 rising
this
 demand can be supplied by
trees
. In conclusion,
due to
paced
Verb problem
the rapid
show examples
 development of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 are becoming urban areas
which
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in which
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trees
 are
sacrificing
Wrong verb form
sacrificed
show examples
.
This
 action will have
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 impact in
near
Correct article usage
the near
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 future if
continue
Correct subject-verb agreement
continues
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 at some level as today. To avert
this
 impact is essential that every single government
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
impose specific laws for cutting and planting
also
 every individual should observe the rules.
Submitted by amotoh10 on

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structure
Your essay effectively addresses the question, but could benefit from clearer structure and paragraphing. Introduce each main point in a new paragraph to enhance readability.
details
Your ideas are relevant, but providing more specific examples to support your points would strengthen your argument.
grammar
Pay attention to verb tenses and subject-verb agreement to improve grammatical accuracy.
sentence construction
Consider diversifying your sentence structures. Using a variety of complex sentences can make your writing more engaging.
topic understanding
You clearly understand the importance of trees to urban environments and effectively communicate their benefits.
balanced argument
Good effort in addressing both sides of the argument by mentioning the need for trees and the realities of urban expansion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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