People are living much longer than before, and this creates enormous pressure on government services. What are some of the effects of a much larger, older population and what can governments do to deal with this problem?

In contemporary society, the advancement of science and technology has significantly extended
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
lifespan.
While
this
represents remarkable progress, the burgeoning aged population poses significant
challenges
for authorities. Retired citizens, reliant on pensions predominantly funded by the government, strain fiscal resources as their numbers swell.
Moreover
, the elderly typically require more extensive
healthcare
, intensifying the demand for public health infrastructure and personnel. Failure to address these issues can precipitate systemic breakdowns, exacerbating stress on both
healthcare
providers and elder patients. To navigate these
challenges
, proactive planning is imperative. A strategic approach involves revisiting mandatory contributions from the current workforce and businesses to
retirement
reserves. Augmenting employees' compulsory contributions to employers' superannuation can alleviate future fiscal burdens on governments.
Similarly
, adjusting
retirement
Correct article usage
the retirement
show examples
age to reflect increased longevity proves an effective strategy. Nations like Brazil and Australia are presently reassessing
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
conditions and legislation to preempt potential crises stemming from demographic shifts.
Furthermore
, preemptive investments in preventative
healthcare
measures and the recruitment of additional
healthcare
professionals are paramount to averting
healthcare
system strains. By fortifying preventative
healthcare
initiatives and bolstering
healthcare
staffing, nations can better meet the needs of their
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
populations. In summation, the burgeoning elderly demographic presents multifaceted
challenges
, including fiscal strain and
healthcare
system pressures. Addressing these
challenges
necessitates strategic foresight and proactive measures, including revisiting
retirement
fund contributions, adjusting
retirement
age, and investing in preventative
healthcare
and expanded
healthcare
staffing. By embracing these strategies, nations can effectively navigate the complexities posed by their
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
populations.
Submitted by betinhaa00 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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Task Response
When discussing solutions or presenting arguments, you could occasionally contrast your ideas with counterarguments or perspective to demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic. However, balance is key to ensure your main argument remains clear.
Task Response
The essay effectively addresses the question, offering clear insights into the effects of an aging population and providing feasible government interventions.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've demonstrated a strong ability to structure an essay logically, making your argument easy to follow.
Task Response
Your use of specific examples and detailed explanations to support your points significantly strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • healthcare systems
  • long-term care
  • pension schemes
  • social security
  • retirement benefits
  • assisted living
  • workforce
  • immigration policies
  • home automation
  • mobility aids
  • telemedicine
  • geriatric care
  • fertility rates
  • child care assistance
  • parental leave
  • urban planning
  • public transportation
  • preventative care
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