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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#visitors #four #museums #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph depicts the
number
Use synonyms
 of people in
millions
Use synonyms
 who visited four international museums from 1980 to 2015. These museums are named as Louvre, London Science
Museum
Use synonyms
, Vatican
Museum
Use synonyms
 and Shenzhen
Museum
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors increased
significantally
Correct your spelling
significantly
 in
Vatican
Correct article usage
the Vatican
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 and decreased gradually in
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Science
Museum
Use synonyms
. The
number
Use synonyms
 of individuals who visited
Vatican
Correct article usage
the Vatican
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 in 1980 was around five million which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
doubled rapidly over the period of 35 years.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
number
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the Louvre
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 was approximately 8
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1980 which was
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
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 with other museums and the visitors rose gradually there, around 10
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
till
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2015. Visitors
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Shenzhen
Museum
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as seen in 1980 and 2015.
However
Linking Words
, in London Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who visited it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased steadily from 1980 to 2015, that was 4
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1980
whereas
Linking Words
 only 2
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
seen in 2015.
Submitted by maliksheetal32 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, millions, museum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • visitor numbers
  • trend analysis
  • stability
  • popularity
  • significant changes
  • peak periods
  • low points
  • global tourism trends
  • economic downturns
  • natural disasters
  • tourist patterns
  • dynamic nature
  • factors influencing
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