It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviour

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There is an argument that it is of paramount importance for

children

to distinguish the difference between right and wrong when they are young, and

punishment

is one of the most effective measures in order to help them in

this

situation.

While

I accept that

this

perception is somewhat justifiable, I believe that

parents

and

teachers

need to choose some suitable ways to punish their

children

. It is noticeable that punishments can change

children

’s bad

attitude

Fix the agreement mistake

attitudes

show examples

temporarily or permanently. If

children

have some wrong actions

such

as telling a lie or disobeying,

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

strict

punishment

is necessary for them in order to help them realize their mistakes and eliminate that bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Parents

and

teachers

can use many punishments

such

as light physical

punishment

so that they can fix their kids' awareness.

For example

, when I had a bad grade, my

parents

used to spank me, or even stop giving the pocket money to me until I could have a better point in the next term.

This

helps me a lot in the process of becoming a better version of myself.

However

parents

and

teachers

should choose appropriate ways to teach good

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

to their

children

and students. First and foremost,

parents

should not strictly punish their

children

, like bully their kids or even spank them too strongly,

this

can make their

children

have some mental and physical health problems, and they may have protests against their

parents

Instead

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

parents

should talk softly to their

children

to help them realize their falls, and from there apply some educational measures

such

as limiting the time using smart devices, telling them to do the

houseworks

Correct your spelling

housework

, or reducing the pocket money that

parents

give to their

children

Secondly

teachers

should not scold their students in front of the class, or ignore them.

Instead

of that, good

teachers

need to help students

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

areas they are weak

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, and from that, they can apply some solutions

such

as giving learners more

homeworks

Correct your spelling

homework

to do. In conclusion, it seems to me that

punishment

is of significance to educate

children

on how to distinguish right from wrong,

which

Correct word choice

and which

show examples

punishments are applied should be carefully chosen.

Submitted by weezel on Tue Apr 16 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to elaborate more on how punishment can change children's attitudes permanently. Discuss not just the immediate effects but also the long-term outcomes of such practices.

coherence cohesion

Revise the introduction for conciseness and clarity. For example, instead of saying, 'this perception is somewhat justifiable,' be more assertive in your stance.

coherence cohesion

Work on connecting your supporting points more clearly to the main argument. Each paragraph should logically follow from the previous one and be tied to the central thesis.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples, particularly when discussing alternative forms of punishment or educational measures. Real-life instances can strengthen your argument.

task achievement

The essay is complete and addresses all parts of the prompt, making a clear argument about the importance of teaching children right from wrong and the role of punishment.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structural framework for the essay.

task achievement

The main points are supported by examples from personal experience, making the argument more relatable and concrete.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

361 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

punishment
positive reinforcement
consequences
time-outs
removal of privileges
open communication
clear expectations
consistency
fairness
disciplinary action
proportionate
moral values
internalization

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