IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#people #manufacturers #supermarkets #responsibility #amount #goods #customers
Supporters believe that producers and sellers are responsible
to decrease
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for decreasing
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 the high amount of packing of
products
,
while
 some proponents say that
buyer
Fix the agreement mistake
buyers
show examples
 should shun purchasing
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 with much wrapping.
This
 essay will discuss both
of
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apply
show examples
views providing
with
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apply
show examples
my own opinion which supports the former one. On the one hand, it is argued that markets and manufacturers play
as
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apply
show examples
key factors
to prevent
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in preventing
show examples
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of
goods
 with a lot of packaging. So, if companies decline
use
Add an article
the use
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 of packing mainly several layers, it contributes to
Correct article usage
the environment
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environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 well-being, because the world suffers from
amount
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the amount
show examples
 of pollutants
with
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apply
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related to plastic packing in the modern era.
Also
, businesses can have
power
Correct article usage
the power
show examples
for preventing
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to prevent
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production
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the production
show examples
 of
goods
 with
packs
, there can be a push factor for
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
show examples
 in the purchase of packaged
goods
 with
encouragement
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the encouragement
show examples
 of manufacturers.
For example
, in some European countries, companies
start
Wrong verb form
have started
show examples
 taking
advantages
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advantage
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 of reducing packaging on the environment, and a significant decline in
the
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apply
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plastic waste which is completely connected with
packs
.
On the other hand
, I believe that individuals should run away
consumption
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from consumption
show examples
 of packed
goods
such
 as food including vegetables and fruits. So,
instead
 of buying wrapped
products
, they can take their shopping bag with
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and use
it
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them
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 when they need plastic
packs
 or any.
Furthermore
, making steps
with shunning
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to shun
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 consuming
of
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apply
show examples
goods
 with
packs
 can encourage producers not
wrap
Fix the infinitive
to wrap
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products
 which can promote a notable declivity in environmental pollution.
For instance
,
according to
the
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apply
show examples
Russian researchers, lessened purchasing of packed
goods
 by people increases the sustainability of the environment,
also
 a growing number of companies change their direction into non-packaged
products
.
To conclude
, I consider that whilst sellers can stop excessive consumption
wrapped
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of wrapped
show examples
goods
, individuals have to avoid
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of packed
products
 to protect the world.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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Example Usage
Ensure to offer more detailed examples to support arguments which could further enhance the task achievement score.
Sentence Variety
For coherence and cohesion, consider varying your sentence structures and connectors to improve the flow of ideas.
Grammar & Vocabulary
Review the essay for any grammar or vocabulary improvements to reduce minor inaccuracies and enhance clarity.
Task Response
You clearly addressed both views and gave your own opinion, which meets the requirement of task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
You structured your essay effectively with an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion, contributing to a high score in logical structure.
Relevant Examples
Making connections between the environment and packaging choices added relevance to your examples, enhancing the clarity of your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Eco-friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Excessive packaging
  • Biodegradable materials
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Consumer advocacy
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Waste reduction
  • Recycling initiatives
  • Green practices
  • Minimalist lifestyle
  • Resource conservation
  • Sustainable consumption
  • Packaging alternatives
  • Regulatory measures
  • Ethical choices
  • Environmental impact assessment
  • Renewable resources
  • Compostable packaging
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