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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the information average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2003 Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

The line graph shows the information average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2003 Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.
#line #information #visitors #museum #summer #winter #report #university #lecturer
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The given line graph presents data on
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 average number of people who visited a
museum
Use synonyms
 in two seasons(
summer
Use synonyms
 and winter) in 2003 in the UK.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
summer
Use synonyms
 visits to a
museum
Use synonyms
 showed pick numbers of tourists
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 11.00 and 12.00 a.m,
while
Linking Words
 during winter no people
enterance
Correct your spelling
entrance
 was experienced from 14.00 am to 18.00 am. Looking into details, the figure which illustrates individuals
visited
Correct pronoun usage
who visited
show examples
 a
museam
Correct your spelling
museum
 in
summer
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
explained
Wrong verb form
explains
show examples
 that the number of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
museum
Use synonyms
 visitors climbed gradually from 200 to about 1500 during the period [9.00 3.0 to 12.00 am).
Then
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant declivity was observed in the tourist rate
with
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
from 1500 to 0 (between 12.00 am and 18gm ) in
Use synonyms
summer
Add an article
the summer
show examples
 season. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the second line, a slight growth was noted in the graph with approximately 500 visitors until 10.00 gm, later it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated between 500 and 600
touristist
Correct your spelling
tourists
 to the
museum
Use synonyms
 in winter (10.00 am to 12 underline a.m
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the undeniable fall (from 600 to 0) in the number of visitors was seen from 12.00 am to 14.30 a.m.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, during the timeframe (14.30 am to
Use synonyms
museum
Add an article
the museum
show examples
 took place. 18.00 am) no visit to the
museum
Use synonyms
 took place.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, summer with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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