In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public.Why is this happening?Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.

In
digital
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the digital
show examples
era,
public
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the public
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is being invested by the government in
technology
,
thus
wanting to attract the invest from other countries.The author
believe
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believes
show examples
that is
the
Correct article usage
a
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positive phenomenon
due to
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
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the
information
and contact with the
customers
easily. It must be understood that
security
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the security
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of
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
and
security
Correct article usage
the security
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of an account
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
so crucial.It means users who want to protect their private
information
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
must use some apps or
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
to deal with it.
Therefore
,
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
show examples
in
technology
and
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
show examples
applications which prevent and protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
and secret
file
Fix the agreement mistake
files
show examples
are so crucial for the
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
.
For instance
,many companies buy or invest large
amount
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amounts
show examples
of money in
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
to prevent the interrupt from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
viruses or
hacker
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hackers
show examples
. Another reason the government should spend a large of money on new
technology
is
contact
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to contact
show examples
with
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apply
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the
customers
easily.
In other words
,agents must
be known
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
many things about networking because nowadays,the problem
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
want to know about is social media.
Consequently
,easy to fit in with
customers
and give many introductions about our products .
For example
,a staff who always online
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the Internet and
update
Correct subject-verb agreement
updates
show examples
new
trend
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trends
show examples
or
information
is easy to come across with the opportunity from the
customers
in other to get the trust
from
Change preposition
of
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population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
. From my point of view,I think
this
is a positive view to make our country more
development
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developed
show examples
.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,easy to attract the invest from other countries like
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,Canada and so on.
Therefore
,it has a big positive impact on the
develop
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development
show examples
of our country
as well as
the world. In conclusion,
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
show examples
in
technology
is the best way to lead the country to the first
economy
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economic
show examples
position.
This
will help folk protect the
information
in other to get up with the
customers
easily.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear paragraph structures, including distinct introductions, body paragraphs, and conclusions, using transitional phrases for better flow.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points, helping to clarify and strengthen your arguments.
language use
Check for grammatical accuracy and aim to use a range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance your writing.
language use
Carefully review and correct any errors in spelling, punctuation, and word choice to improve clarity and precision.
task response
You effectively addressed the prompt by both discussing the reasons behind government investment in technology and offering your viewpoint on its appropriateness.
coherence cohesion
You included a clear stance and conclusion, helping to provide a sense of closure and completeness to your essay.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital transformation
  • service delivery
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • tech-savvy
  • contemporary lifestyle
  • public satisfaction
  • data management
  • smart city technologies
  • predictive policing
  • data privacy
  • digital divide
  • inclusivity
  • governance
  • infrastructure
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