IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts provide information about water consumption and residential water usage in Australia in 2004.

The charts provide information about water consumption and residential water usage in Australia in 2004.
The bar and pie charts below provide information about the annual
water
Use synonyms
 consumption
im
Correct your spelling
in
 six cities and
water
Use synonyms
 utilization in Australia respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, Perth had the highest usage and, oppositely,
Canaberra
Correct your spelling
Canberra
 was rated with the lowest consumption rate.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that agriculture is the most demanding distribution. The first thing that can be easily observed is Perth's
water
Use synonyms
 usage which reached almost 300 kilolitres.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
Canaberra
Correct your spelling
Canberra
 had twice as
less
Correct word choice
little
show examples
 amount of
water
Use synonyms
 consumed and Melbourne with almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 data. Remained Sydney, Adelaide and Brisbane are listed from the lowest to the highest in
range
Correct article usage
a range
show examples
 of 200 to 250 kilolitres per property. The pie chart mentions 7 categories where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agriculture held
two thirds
Add a hyphen
two-thirds
show examples
 of the whole chart.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, mining distributes 2 per cent of annual
water
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
areas like households,
water
Use synonyms
 supply and drainage, electricity and gas supply exploit around 8%. Remained two categories are manufacturing and others which are 2 times less than 
Correct your spelling
house
houses
househ
Correct your spelling
household

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provide" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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