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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of a car factory's total sale in four continents ( Asia, Europe, South America, Europe and Asia) annually during the five-year period from 2006 to 2010.

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of a car factory's total sale in four continents ( Asia, Europe, South America, Europe and Asia) annually during the five-year period from 2006 to 2010.
#bar #percentage #car #factory #sale #four #continents #asia #europe #america #period
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The given chart depicts the proportion of a
car
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factory
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's total
sales
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 each
year
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 in four different continents including
Asia
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, Europe,
South
Correct word choice
and South
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America
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, Europe and
Asia
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 between 2006 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the total
sales
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 of the
car
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factory
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 in
Asia
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 experienced an upward trend
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true with South
America
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.
Beside
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Besides
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, there was a fluctuation in the total
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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 of the
car
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factory
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 in South
America
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 and North
America
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the percentage of total
sales
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 of the
Asia
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car
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factory
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 started at 30% in 2006 and increased to 34% in 2007. It
then
Linking Words
 remained stable in the next
year
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 and peaked at 50% in 2010. If we look at South
America
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, the trend is different. The proportion of total
sales
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 of the South
America
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factory
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 began at 30% and it
then
Linking Words
 remarkably decreased by a
hafl
Correct your spelling
half
 in the next three years. The figure continuously went up and finished at below 10%. Moving on to the other categories, the percentage of the Europe
car
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factory
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's total
sales
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 started at about 30% in 2006 and it
then
Linking Words
 rose by 6% in the next two
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year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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.
However
Linking Words
, the figure
witness
Change the form of the verb
witnessed
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 a decrease to around 30% in the
last
Linking Words
year
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. If we look at North
America
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, the trend is similar. In the first
year
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 and
last
Linking Words
year
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, the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of total
sales
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 of the North
America
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factory
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 was
same
Correct article usage
the same
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, which was 10%. The figure experienced a rapid decline from 2007 to 2009 and hit the bottom at below 5% in 2009.
Submitted by lethithut123 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words car, factory, sales, year, asia, america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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