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Band 5

Some people think that governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that better roads should be built. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #money #train #subway #lines #traffic #congestion #roads
Comfortability for civilians is one of the biggest
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 that governments should
be considered
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
 since there are some ways to improve it. Some argue that they spend their resources to build public transportation systems
while
 others disagree with
this
 opinion. I personally claim that governments need to spend more money to create pavements than railways
because of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 reasons that I am going to mention later. On the one hand, there are a number of merits to
construct
Wrong verb form
constructing
show examples
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
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 and
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
, including numerous people can use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to commute
their
Change preposition
to their
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 workplaces. Since workers tend to ride their cars to go
their
Change preposition
to their
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 companies, traffic has
freaquently
Correct your spelling
frequently
 been heavy, especially in the morning. To avoid
this
,
increaing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 public transportation systems is needed.
Furthermore
, it is typically more reasonable and faster than private cars, which means that people are able to save their money and time
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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.
However
, some complain that heavy traffic would be settled down if
roads
 became wider, which indicates that governments should try to create new or additional
roads
 to allow people to drive more easily. Compared to constructing
subway
Correct article usage
a subway
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 or other public transportation, making
roads
 is not only easier but
also
 no need to create new bus or train schedules. If changing the schedules is
requred
Correct your spelling
required
, it needs to be noticed
to
Change preposition
by
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 a lot of
cites
Correct your spelling
cities
show examples
such
 as companies which run a train map application. In conclusion,
while
 creating new railways or subways has numerous merits that I
discribed
Correct your spelling
described
,
outcomes
Correct article usage
the outcomes
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 of constructing new
roads
 or pavements outweigh the former
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Thus
, I believe that government should invest more money
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 building these facilities.
Submitted by ryoga17.0325 on

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clarity
Ensure clarity when expressing your opinion. While you've shared your view, making it transparent and direct can enhance understanding.
detail
Develop your arguments with more specific examples. Elaborating on your points with detailed examples can significantly strengthen your essay.
consistency
Work on the consistency of your argument. Ensure that your position remains clear and supported throughout the essay.
structure
You have a clear structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You effectively discuss both views as the prompt requests, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
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