The efficient functioning of society is based on rules and laws. Society would not function well if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Society
is a collection of individuals
. Each individual is unique and have
different beliefs. Change the verb form
has
The co-operation
is necessary for a mindful Correct article usage
Co-operation
society
. The common rules and laws ensure minimizing friction and increasing efficiency
of Add an article
the efficiency
this
collective process.
On one hand,freedom
of choice is a great concept. This
helps to incorporate individuals
with various skills to improve and contribute rather than forcing them to follow others. For example
, if a society
is struggling with its current fuctioning
, Correct your spelling
functioning
freedom
to invent helps to bring a solution to the negotiation table which improves the quality of the Correct article usage
the freedom
overall
functioning. The freedom
of speech leads to expression against oppression and injustice. Appreciating individuals
for their uniqueness will increase the overall
mental well-being of individuals
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
freedom
of choice can lead to negative consequences. Freedom
to spend their earning in their own way might lead to lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
self discipline
. Add a hyphen
self-discipline
This
might end up in an addiction crisis. Inventions are great but certain
times resources might get wasted without restrictions. Expressing your own views about Change preposition
at certain
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
belief
might lead to polarization and violence between communities.
The Fix the agreement mistake
beliefs
freedom
to be who you are is a double edged
sword. The individual should take sole responsibility for the negative outcomes inflicted upon Add a hyphen
double-edged
society
. The laws should be carefully analyzed and freedom
should be given up to a certain limit where individual acts doesn't
interfere Change the verb form
don't
the
social sphere.Change preposition
with the
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Examples
To improve, try to provide more detailed examples to support your points. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.
Introduction/Conclusion
In your introduction and conclusion, try to succinctly summarize your main points and stance to make your position clearer.
Understanding
Your essay successfully demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and a balanced view, providing insights on both sides of the argument.
Coherence/Cohesion
You've exhibited a commendable ability in creating a coherent and cohesive essay structure, where each paragraph flows logically to the next, enhancing the reader's comprehension.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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