In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. You should write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, some nations see their university
students
living with their family
during their studies, Fix the agreement mistake
families
while
, in other nations, students
leave their home
and Fix the agreement mistake
homes
they
transfer to another Correct pronoun usage
apply
city
to complete their bachelor
or Change noun form
bachelor's
master
programme. There are numerous benefits and drawbacks related to Change noun form
master's
this
topic.
On one hand, living away from home has several advantages. Firstly
, students
learn to take care of their house, by keeping it tidy, washing their clothes, cooking and so on. Secondly
, by moving to another city
, they have to know new people, this
could lead them to increase their connections, which could be useful in the future. Furthemore
, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
students
may be more focused and concentrated in
reaching their goals, as they Change preposition
on
left
their Wrong verb form
leave
affects
to follow their dreams.
Replace the word
effects
On the other hand
, moving to another city
is a drastic change in the life of a student and there could be some learners that have a shy personality. Therefore
, they could not be ready to know new people and create a new life, this
could lead to negative psychological effects. Correct pronoun usage
which
Moreover
, being away from your family, could means
that you have to take care of everything that surrounds you and you do not have anyone to ask favours. Wrong verb form
mean
This
can lead to a very stressfull
period, especially for those Correct your spelling
stressful
students
who do not have a strong mindset.
In my opinion, I think the benefits of moving to another city
to complete university are more than the drawbacks. This
because
a student grows under a lot of human aspects and he will have more chances to be ready for the working world.Add a missing verb
is because
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Task Achievement
While you've discussed both sides of the argument effectively and provided a personal opinion, integrating more specific examples or personal experiences could further strengthen your argument and exemplify your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider varying your transition words more to guide the reader through your discussion more smoothly. Phrases like "Furthermore," "Additionally," or "On the contrary," can add variety and clarity to your argument structure.
Coherence & Cohesion
It's advantageous to occasionally revisit your thesis statement or main argument in the conclusion to reinforce your stance and remind the readers of your central argument. This can provide a strong and memorable finish to your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt, showing a solid understanding of the topic with a well-reasoned stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've demonstrated a good ability to organize your ideas logically, making your essay easy to follow.
Task Achievement
Use of real-life consequences and pros & cons in your arguments shows critical thinking.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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