In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. You should write at least 250 words.

#countries #university #students #home #study #city

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Nowadays, some nations see their university

students

Use synonyms

living with their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

during their studies,

while

Linking Words

, in other nations,

students

Use synonyms

leave their

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

and

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

transfer to another

city

Use synonyms

to complete their

bachelor

Change noun form

bachelor's

show examples

master

Change noun form

master's

show examples

programme. There are numerous benefits and drawbacks related to

this

Linking Words

topic. On one hand, living away from home has several advantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

learn to take care of their house, by keeping it tidy, washing their clothes, cooking and so on.

Secondly

Linking Words

, by moving to another

city

Use synonyms

, they have to know new people,

this

Linking Words

could lead them to increase their connections, which could be useful in the future.

Furthemore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

students

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may be more focused and concentrated

Change preposition

show examples

reaching their goals, as they

left

Wrong verb form

leave

show examples

their

affects

Replace the word

effects

show examples

to follow their dreams.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, moving to another

city

Use synonyms

is a drastic change in the life of a student and there could be some learners that have a shy personality.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they could not be ready to know new people and create a new life,

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

could lead to negative psychological effects.

Moreover

Linking Words

, being away from your family, could

means

Wrong verb form

mean

show examples

that you have to take care of everything that surrounds you and you do not have anyone to ask favours.

This

Linking Words

can lead to a very

stressfull

Correct your spelling

stressful

period, especially for those

students

Use synonyms

who do not have a strong mindset. In my opinion, I think the benefits of moving to another

city

Use synonyms

to complete university are more than the drawbacks.

This

Linking Words

because

Add a missing verb

is because

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a student grows under a lot of human aspects and he will have more chances to be ready for the working world.

Submitted by silvestriandrea.it on Wed Apr 17 2024

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Task Achievement

While you've discussed both sides of the argument effectively and provided a personal opinion, integrating more specific examples or personal experiences could further strengthen your argument and exemplify your points.

Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, consider varying your transition words more to guide the reader through your discussion more smoothly. Phrases like "Furthermore," "Additionally," or "On the contrary," can add variety and clarity to your argument structure.

Coherence & Cohesion

It's advantageous to occasionally revisit your thesis statement or main argument in the conclusion to reinforce your stance and remind the readers of your central argument. This can provide a strong and memorable finish to your essay.

Task Achievement

Your essay successfully addresses the prompt, showing a solid understanding of the topic with a well-reasoned stance.

Coherence & Cohesion

You've demonstrated a good ability to organize your ideas logically, making your essay easy to follow.

Task Achievement

Use of real-life consequences and pros & cons in your arguments shows critical thinking.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
self-reliance
finance management
exposure
broaden horizons
open-minded
adaptability
conducive environment
isolation
homesickness
financial burden
household duties
academic responsibilities
personal growth

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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There is a considerable amount of evidence that increasing car use is contributing to global warming and having other undesirable effects on people's health and well-being. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Despite the increased access to education, a significant number of people cannot read or write. What are the disadvantages without these skills? And What actions should governments take?