Competitiveness is seen as a positive quality for people to have in many societies today. How does this competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative quality?
It is widely acknowledged that, in contemporary
society
, competitiveness
is a great quality
for individuals to possess. This
essay will examine how this
situtation
Correct your spelling
situation
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
people
and issue my own perspective that this
quality
is positive at individual and societal levels.
In the first place, this
quality
not only brings advantages to people
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
drawbacks. Primarily, the impacts are beneficial. This
quality
enable
Change the verb form
enables
people
to make progress. For instance
, in order to seperate
themselves from others in Correct your spelling
separate
such
a competitve
Correct your spelling
competitive
society
, people
may push themselves to learn a new skill to expand their repertoires. In such
process
, everyone's ability can be gradually improved. Correct article usage
a process
Additionally
, we cannot deny that competitiveness
sometimes may lead to a detrimental effects
. Inappropriate Correct the article-noun agreement
detrimental effects
a detrimental effect
competitions
would make Fix the agreement mistake
competition
people
feel stressed out and overwhelmed, thereby, there is a high possibility for people
to get a psychological problems
. Correct the article-noun agreement
psychological problems
a psychological problem
That is
also
the reason why there are so many people
today commit
suicide because of depression.
In the second place, even if Correct pronoun usage
who commit
competitiveness
is a double-edged sword, in general, it will contribute more to individuals' growth and the
social development. As for citizens, who live in a Correct article usage
apply
society
filled with competition, it is vital for people
, especially those young adults who just graduated from university and got into workplace
, to compete with others as they will be knocked out if they refuse to engage in Correct article usage
the workplace
competions
. In terms of the whole Correct your spelling
competitions
society
, competitiveness
can serve as an inspiration and motivation for promoting innovation, which is an indispensable capability a country should have for inventing advanced technology. Moreover
, when more and more people
constantly improve themselves, society
can have an increasing number of well-educated workforce to boost the societal economy.
In conclusion, competitiveness
has positve
and negative effects simultaneously. Excessive and unhealthy competition may cause problems, Correct your spelling
positive
while
the most visible impacts are advantageous. On balance, I believe, it is a positive quality
which is helpful for society
and people
.Submitted by Amber on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Clarify and elaborate your main points more cohesively, ensuring a smoother flow between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your overall position, avoiding any contradictions or ambiguities.
Task Achievement
Provide more varied and specific examples to strengthen your argument and support your claims.
Task Achievement
You've presented a well-rounded view on competitiveness, demonstrating both positive and negative aspects effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay structure is logical, helping readers follow your argument easily.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.