Competitiveness is seen as a positive quality for people to have in many societies today. How does this competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative quality?

#competitiveness #quality #people #societies #individuals

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It is widely acknowledged that, in contemporary

society

competitiveness

is a great

quality

for individuals to possess.

This

essay will examine how

this

situtation

Correct your spelling

situation

affect

Correct subject-verb agreement

affects

show examples

people

and issue my own perspective that

this

quality

is positive at individual and societal levels. In the first place,

this

quality

not only brings advantages to

people

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

drawbacks. Primarily, the impacts are beneficial.

This

quality

enable

Change the verb form

enables

show examples

people

to make progress.

For instance

, in order to

seperate

Correct your spelling

separate

themselves from others in

such

competitve

Correct your spelling

competitive

society

people

may push themselves to learn a new skill to expand their repertoires. In

such

process

Correct article usage

a process

show examples

, everyone's ability can be gradually improved.

Additionally

, we cannot deny that

competitiveness

sometimes may lead to

a detrimental effects

Correct the article-noun agreement

detrimental effects

a detrimental effect

show examples

. Inappropriate

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

would make

people

feel stressed out and overwhelmed, thereby, there is a high possibility for

people

to get

a psychological problems

Correct the article-noun agreement

psychological problems

a psychological problem

show examples

That is

also

the reason why there are so many

people

today

commit

Correct pronoun usage

who commit

show examples

suicide because of depression. In the second place, even if

competitiveness

is a double-edged sword, in general, it will contribute more to individuals' growth and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social development. As for citizens, who live in a

society

filled with competition, it is vital for

people

, especially those young adults who just graduated from university and got into

workplace

Correct article usage

the workplace

show examples

, to compete with others as they will be knocked out if they refuse to engage in

competions

Correct your spelling

competitions

. In terms of the whole

society

competitiveness

can serve as an inspiration and motivation for promoting innovation, which is an indispensable capability a country should have for inventing advanced technology.

Moreover

, when more and more

people

constantly improve themselves,

society

can have an increasing number of well-educated workforce to boost the societal economy. In conclusion,

competitiveness

has

positve

Correct your spelling

positive

and negative effects simultaneously. Excessive and unhealthy competition may cause problems,

while

the most visible impacts are advantageous. On balance, I believe, it is a positive

quality

which is helpful for

society

and

people

Submitted by Amber on Wed Apr 17 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Clarify and elaborate your main points more cohesively, ensuring a smoother flow between ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the logical flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your overall position, avoiding any contradictions or ambiguities.

Task Achievement

Provide more varied and specific examples to strengthen your argument and support your claims.

Task Achievement

You've presented a well-rounded view on competitiveness, demonstrating both positive and negative aspects effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay structure is logical, helping readers follow your argument easily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Competitiveness is seen as a positive quality for people to have in many societies today. How does this competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative quality?

Fully explain your ideas

Do you think that the Latin American left-wing sympathizes with Muslim countries or not, and why is that? Discuss this view.

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries today, crime novels and TV crime are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas? Give reasons and include any relevant examples.

Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. The ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Improvement in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?