Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Would community
serive
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service
in high
school
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be
benetiful
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beautiful
for
teh
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the
students
Use synonyms
or would it be a waste of time? Some people suggest that unpaid community service for our
students
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should be compulsory. I agree with
this
Linking Words
, but what would
this
Linking Words
be good for? First and foremost, the
students
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would learn to take
other
Change preposition
on other
show examples
reseponsibilies
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
besides
Linking Words
their studies.
Resurce
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Resource
Research
shows that a lot of
gratuates
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graduates
are not
prepered
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prepared
for the
life
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after
school
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. During their
hole
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whole
show examples
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appearance
apperence
Add a comma
apperence,
show examples
they have been
deducated
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dedicated
deducted
to their studies. By adding unpaid community service to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
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attendence
Correct your spelling
attendance
we would
intruduce
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introduce
the
students
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to the
reseponsbilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
of working. They will
also
Linking Words
gain experiences that can be useful later in
life
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, to engage the
students
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in
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
example, charity would
widern
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widen
their perspective of the world. Talking from
own
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my own
show examples
experience, I was clueless about the
sircubstances
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circumstances
some
peolpe
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people
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
living under when I finished high
school
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. Me and most of my peeps
growed
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grew
show examples
up in a
family's
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family
show examples
with a good economic situation. After high
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school
Add a comma
school,
show examples
I started working for a charity company which made me realise how
privilaged
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privileged
I was. To help people in need changed my view of
life
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and made me more objective. To
conclued
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conclude
concluded
, In my opinion, community services should be something that everyone attending high
school
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should take a part
of
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in
show examples
. It does not only
preper
Correct your spelling
prepare
them for
the
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apply
show examples
life
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after high
school
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, it
also
Linking Words
helps them gain work experience and
wider
Replace the word
widen
show examples
their picture of how the world actually works. The result of
this
Linking Words
would be
students
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are ready for
the
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apply
show examples
adult
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by clara.m.schafer on

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Spelling & Typing Errors
Make sure to proofread your essay for typos and spelling mistakes, such as 'benetiful' instead of 'beneficial', and 'reseponsibilies' instead of 'responsibilities'. Correcting these will improve your writing's clarity.
Sentence Structure
Focus on structuring your sentences more carefully to avoid run-on sentences and improve readability. For example, consider breaking complex thoughts into simpler, more precise sentences.
Use of Linking Words
Work on using a wider range of linking words to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
Use of Examples & Evidence
Enhance your argument by providing more diverse examples and evidences to back up your points. While personal experience is valuable, incorporating broader evidence will strengthen your essay.
Thesis Statement
You have a clear thesis statement that sets the tone for your essay, effectively outlining your stance.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reinforcing your argument and viewpoint.
Paragraphing
You demonstrate good use of paragraphing to organize your ideas, which helps in making your essay coherent.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unpaid
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching younger children
  • valuable learning experiences
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • problem-solving
  • compassion
  • empathy
  • connect
  • positive impact
  • mandatory
  • personal development
  • social development
  • interested
  • motivated
  • volunteer
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