Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #children

Would community

serive

Correct your spelling

service

in high

school

benetiful

Correct your spelling

beautiful

for

teh

Correct your spelling

the

students

or would it be a waste of time? Some people suggest that unpaid community service for our

students

should be compulsory. I agree with

this

, but what would

this

be good for? First and foremost, the

students

would learn to take

other

Change preposition

on other

show examples

reseponsibilies

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

besides

their studies.

Resurce

Correct your spelling

Resource

Research

shows that a lot of

gratuates

Correct your spelling

graduates

are not

prepered

Correct your spelling

prepared

for the

life

after

school

. During their

hole

Correct your spelling

whole

show examples

Correct your spelling

appearance

apperence

Add a comma

apperence,

show examples

they have been

deducated

Correct your spelling

dedicated

deducted

to their studies. By adding unpaid community service to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school

attendence

Correct your spelling

attendance

we would

intruduce

Correct your spelling

introduce

the

students

to the

reseponsbilites

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

of working. They will

also

gain experiences that can be useful later in

life

Secondly

, to engage the

students

for

Add the comma(s)

, for

show examples

example, charity would

widern

Correct your spelling

widen

their perspective of the world. Talking from

own

Correct pronoun usage

my own

show examples

experience, I was clueless about the

sircubstances

Correct your spelling

circumstances

some

peolpe

Correct your spelling

people

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

living under when I finished high

school

. Me and most of my peeps

growed

Correct your spelling

grew

show examples

up in a

family's

Change noun form

family

show examples

with a good economic situation. After high

school

Add a comma

school,

show examples

I started working for a charity company which made me realise how

privilaged

Correct your spelling

privileged

I was. To help people in need changed my view of

life

and made me more objective. To

conclued

Correct your spelling

conclude

concluded

, In my opinion, community services should be something that everyone attending high

school

should take a part

Change preposition

show examples

. It does not only

preper

Correct your spelling

prepare

them for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

after high

school

, it

also

helps them gain work experience and

wider

Replace the word

widen

show examples

their picture of how the world actually works. The result of

this

would be

students

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

are ready for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adult

life

Submitted by clara.m.schafer on Wed Apr 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Spelling & Typing Errors

Make sure to proofread your essay for typos and spelling mistakes, such as 'benetiful' instead of 'beneficial', and 'reseponsibilies' instead of 'responsibilities'. Correcting these will improve your writing's clarity.

Sentence Structure

Focus on structuring your sentences more carefully to avoid run-on sentences and improve readability. For example, consider breaking complex thoughts into simpler, more precise sentences.

Use of Linking Words

Work on using a wider range of linking words to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the flow of your essay.

Use of Examples & Evidence

Enhance your argument by providing more diverse examples and evidences to back up your points. While personal experience is valuable, incorporating broader evidence will strengthen your essay.

Thesis Statement

You have a clear thesis statement that sets the tone for your essay, effectively outlining your stance.

Conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reinforcing your argument and viewpoint.

Paragraphing

You demonstrate good use of paragraphing to organize your ideas, which helps in making your essay coherent.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

unpaid
compulsory
high school programmes
charity
improving the neighbourhood
teaching younger children
valuable learning experiences
communication
teamwork
problem-solving
compassion
empathy
connect
positive impact
mandatory
personal development
social development
interested
motivated
volunteer

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity , improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, engaging in volunteering activities has brought an immense impact towards society as it is vital especially in the academic field. Many have suggested it is a productive way to aid students in developing and determining their field of interests. This essay will argue why including community services to the school curriculum is beneficial for adolescents and society, and why others think it is not.
6.5
band
A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntarylunpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntarylunpaid work, in your letter explain why you want to do voluntarylunpaid work at the museum describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful give details of when you would be available for work
I am writing to express my interest in volunteering at the Canada Historical Museum.
4.5
band
Nowadays, many people have easy access to computers and a large number of children play computer games.What are the negative impact of playing computer games? What can be done to minimise these effects?
Advancement in technology during last decades has resulted in excessive dependence on computers due to which majority of youngsters get entertainment through computers games. Higher usage time on screens has resulted in many challenges for children of all ages.
4.5
band
Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Why it is needed to take tremendous initiatives through spending money on a few particular aspects of the governing authority? It is thought by some individuals that money is wasted by the government on arts and it should be better utilized. I agree with for many critical issues are issues that are required to be addressed. In my opinion, one is poverty and the other is the lack of infrastructure in healthcare.
6.5
band
A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including use for food and research.
When the topic of the animals arises, there are divided opinions. Some are of the viewpoint that animals should be treated same as the humans and they also have similar rights. Whereas, a few others differ this and state that it is crucial to use them as we desire for food and medical research. Therefore, ahead of my preference, both the sides are discussed in the ensuing paragraphs.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, many people have easy access to computers and a large number of children play computer games.What are the negative impact of playing computer games? What can be done to minimise these effects?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including use for food and research.