Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is generally believed that it is crucial for kids to think about their own
decisions
on daily affairs. Use synonyms
However
, few individuals consider that it would create a society filled with egoist people, who only think about themselves. In Linking Words
this
Linking Words
essay
I Add a comma
essay,
would
discuss both of these perspectives and give my opinion
On one hand, when we habituate kids to make their own choices would trigger them to learn about Wrong verb form
will
pros
and cons of making Correct article usage
the pros
decisions
. Use synonyms
This
would force them to think more, be more confident, and wise. Linking Words
For example
, when kids Linking Words
free
to choose their own activities or hobbies, they can try out all of them and feel which Add a missing verb
are free
one
where they Fix the agreement mistake
ones
good
at and which Add a missing verb
are good
one
not. When they Fix the agreement mistake
ones
good
at it, they Add a missing verb
are good
would
be more interested in it and grow their confidence. Wrong verb form
will
Linking Words
While when
they are not, they would know that they are not meant to be good at everything.
Correct word choice
When
On the other hand
, making Linking Words
decisions
for the youth has its own perks too. Generally, youth don’t understand about Use synonyms
cause
and consequences. Fix the agreement mistake
causes
Therefore
need the guidance of the matures. Linking Words
For instance
, plenty of youth love Linking Words
to
sweets and unhealthy foods. Change preposition
apply
This
could be really dangerous for their own healthLinking Words
,
because that kind of food doesn’t really have any nutritional value. So Remove the comma
apply
the
parents need to be aware of Correct article usage
apply
the
nutritionCorrect article usage
apply
,
and choose which food is good for their kid’s health.
In conclusion, the habit Remove the comma
apply
Use synonyms
children
to consider their own Change preposition
of children
decisions
and not have their own benefits. Use synonyms
However
, I agree until Linking Words
certain
age Correct article usage
a certain
which
the Correct word choice
when
children
have more ability to think about Use synonyms
cause
and consequences, parents need to give their own recommendations to the Fix the agreement mistake
causes
children
. After that, the Use synonyms
children
need to learn to make their own verdict.Use synonyms
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Task Achievement
Make sure to directly answer the question in your introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific, real-world examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've structured your essay well, providing a clear progression of ideas.
Task Achievement
You've successfully discussed both views on the issue, reflecting a balanced approach.
Positive Insight
Your essay encourages critical thinking by highlighting the importance of decision-making in children's development.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.