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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Public transport is essential but problematic. Describe some of problems connected to public transport and suggest some solutions.

#transport
Many public transportation systems are available these days, which
people
 choose
according to
 their convenience. By using public transport, a lot of
issues
 occurred. I will explain the
issues
 and solutions in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, there are a plethora of
issues
while
 using public transportation.
Firstly
, cleanliness
issues
 are most common, we see in buses or trains where
people
 eat and throw remaining stuff inside the vehicles.
Moreover
,
Due to
 the crowd of
people
, there is no guarantee that some of them will be sick and able to transfer to others.
Secondly
, crimes are the biggest problem, snatchers take advantage of crowds and steal money as well.
Thus
, travelling by public transportation is not safe.
On the other hand
, the support of the government and imposing some regulations and fines can solve these
issues
. To explain, there should be penalties, if
people
 are not following their obligations and throw garbage or waste in their vehicles.
Furthermore
, authorities need to set up security cameras in each vehicle and station so that it helps to prevent crimes and can catch the snatchers as well.
Therefore
, these rules should be mandatory for everyone to follow
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to settle these problems. In conclusion, these problems can be solved by setting up some rules and
then
 following them with the endorsement of the government.
Submitted by AP on

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Vocabulary
Try to provide a more varied vocabulary and avoid repetitions to enhance clarity and engagement.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs with more explicit linking phrases.
Task Response
Expand your ideas with more detailed examples and deeper analysis to fully address the prompt.
Grammar
Consider proofreading to correct minor grammatical errors and enhance the overall readability of your essay.
Structure
You provided a clear introduction, development, and conclusion structure, effectively organizing your essay.
Task Response
You successfully addressed the prompt by discussing both problems and solutions related to public transportation.
Content Relevance
Use of real-world implications of the problems enhances the relevance of your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • emissions
  • inequality
  • congestion
  • economic feasibility
  • subsidies
  • infrastructure
  • overcrowding
  • commute
  • incentivize
  • service quality
  • reinvest
  • equitable access
  • fiscal responsibility
  • peak hours
  • public subsidy
  • taxpayer burden
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