Write about the following topic. Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air popular. tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more Do the advantages of shopping in this way outveigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, people are starting to shop online, and
this
business model is becoming more and more common. In the near future, we might not have physical
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
show examples
anymore. It is agreed that digital shopping has more positive impacts than negative shortcomings.
This
opinion will be analyzed by discussing the
time
efficiency improvements from developing
e-commerce
, and the environmental aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
topic.
Firstly
, the most attractive point of buying things online is it saves us
time
.
For example
, going
groceries
Fix the agreement mistake
grocery
show examples
shopping usually takes me half an hour to one hour,
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
even
cost
Wrong verb form
costing
show examples
me over one and a half an hour.
This
includes driving to the supermarket, picking the ingredients,
checkout
Correct your spelling
checking out
show examples
, and at
last
,
drive
Wrong verb form
driving
show examples
back home and
organize
Wrong verb form
organising
show examples
things in my kitchen.
However
, In
this
present world,
time
is money, and we should rethink
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the way we allocate our 24 hours. In
this
situation, doing groceries online can save us two to three hours at least per week, which is clearly providing an
opportuntiy
Correct your spelling
opportunity
for us to make
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better use of our precious
time
.
Thus
, shopping online allows us to redistribute our
time
and attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
more valuable tasks.
Secondly
, online and offline shopping is very different in terms of logistics aspects.
While
physical shopping requires
merchandises
Fix the agreement mistake
merchandise
show examples
on site
Add a hyphen
on-site
show examples
,
e-commerce
doesn't.
For instance
, in
normal
Add an article
the normal
show examples
shopping process, a book will be
passing
Wrong verb form
passed
show examples
several
houseware
Change to a plural noun
housewares
show examples
before entering
physical
Add an article
the physical
a physical
show examples
store, and at
last
Add a comma
last,
show examples
brought back home by customers.
However
,
e-commerce
can save us all these shipments and send the exact amount of books directly to
customer
Add an article
the customer
show examples
.
According to
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
,
e-commerce
reduces
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
emissions
up
Change preposition
by up
show examples
to 25% per product.
Therefore
,
chosing
Correct your spelling
choosing
online shopping can decrease carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
and can contribute to diminishing negative impacts on climate change.
To sum up
, digital commerce improves our lives in both
time
-efficiency and environmental aspects. Not only we
are benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
from gaining
extre
Correct your spelling
extra
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
, but
also
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action to save our planet.
Submitted by lil40629890 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction Clarity
Make sure to directly address the question posed in your introduction to immediately guide the reader to understand your viewpoint. While your essay does discuss the advantages outweighing the disadvantages, directly stating this alignment with the task in the introduction strengthens your response.
Linking Words
Incorporating a wider variety of linking phrases can enhance the flow of your essay. Although the coherence is commendable, using varied transitional phrases can further improve the connections between ideas.
Balanced Argument
Consider briefly acknowledging potential disadvantages of online shopping before arguing why the advantages outweigh them. This could provide a more balanced view and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Structure
Your essay is well-structured with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively guiding the reader through your argument.
Use of Examples
You provided relevant examples to support your points which makes your argument persuasive and engaging.
Focus and Development
The focus on time efficiency and environmental benefits as main advantages offers a focused and well-developed argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: