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Band 5.5

Many countries are experiencing population growth, and need to build more homes. Some say that new homes should constructed in existing cities while others argues that new towns should be built to accommodate the growing population. What are the advantages and disadvantages of these point of view

#countries #population #growth #homes #say #cities #towns #point
Unquestionably, every coin has two sides and so are the
people
. Society
divided
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is divided
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 into two groups and
therefore
, choosing
new
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a new
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 site for
construction
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the construction
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 of housing with
increasing
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the increasing
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new-born
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newborn
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 generation has become a topic of debate among
people
.
This
 essay will compare and contrast both
of
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apply
show examples
opinions with each positive and negative reasons. Initiating with the points supporting
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the
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idea of using remaining
cites
Correct your spelling
cities
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 for extra houses,
firstly
, there is no need for
extra
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an extra
the extra
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fund
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funds
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 to settle additional land
site
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sites
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. Manipulating new housing
foundation
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foundations
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inquires
Verb problem
requires
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high
Correct article usage
a high
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 budget for designing fields and consuming materials for
constructions
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construction
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, but it can be
cost effective
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cost-effective
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 if they use existing
cities
.
Secondly
, their locations are already familiar to
people
, so populations may be possible to connect with present
citizen
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citizens
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 with geographically near and convenient
location
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locations
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 to share facilities and surroundings.
On the other hand
, It can shrink main
cities
,
for example
, Seoul, the
capitol
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capital
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 of Korea has
problem
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the problem
a problem
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 of exaggerated concentration of new buildings which can cause increased traffic
jam
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jams
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 and
gap
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gaps
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 between urban and rural areas. On
contrasting
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the contrasting
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 side,
people
 who
agreed
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agree
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 with evolving new
site
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sites
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 for
new born
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newborn
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 homes say that it can loosen
geographical
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the geographical
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 tension of present
cities
 and develop facilities which more fit
with
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apply
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new generations
such
 as technologically advanced schools and hospitals.
While
, it
also
 had side effects that during the process of choosing additional areas,
an
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apply
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ambiguous criteria can lead to unreasonable competition between
cities
, because new development can create
another financial benefits
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another financial benefit
other financial benefits
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 for them. In conclusion to the above statement, neither its pros can be neglected nor its cons. It is a mixed
bags
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bag
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 of positives and negatives. In my opinion, the statement should not be underestimated
while
 we are facing future generations’ problems.
Submitted by minji.choi.1201 on

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task achievement
Work on providing clearer and more direct examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Remember to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and ensure clarity in your sentences. Simplifying complex ideas could enhance readability.
task achievement
You have effectively outlined both the advantages and disadvantages of constructing new homes in existing cities and developing new towns.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that compare and contrast viewpoints, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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