Some people believe zoos are good places for people to learn about animals. Other people believe animals belong in nature and it is wrong to keep them in zoos. What do you think? Explain, giving specific reasons for your choice.
In the third millennium, protecting
of
Change preposition
apply
animals
is one of most
burning issues. Correct article usage
the most
Openinions
about how ought to keep Correct your spelling
Opinions
species
are divided as to wheter
Correct your spelling
whether
keep
them inside an isolated environment or leave Fix the infinitive
to keep
animals
alone in nature
. Hence
, this
essay will delve into details of both point
of view and provide some Change to a plural noun
points
tentalizing
reasons why Correct your spelling
tantalizing
tantalising
zoos
have better condition
.
On the one hand, Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
proponent
of keeping Fix the agreement mistake
proponents
animals
in zoos
would claim that it is more advantageous for them. One justification often given for this
is the role of protection. To clarify, nowadays, many species
are at the
risk of Correct article usage
apply
extincation
Correct your spelling
extinction
likewise
, Persian tigers and African lions. Therefore
, zoos
might be a sutitable
home Correct your spelling
suitable
to
feeding them Change preposition
for
appropriatly
, providing medicine Correct your spelling
appropriately
equipments
, keeping them Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
in
safe, and ultimately ensuring Change preposition
apply
of
their Change preposition
apply
survive
. Replace the word
survival
Furthermore
, another factore
which has led Correct your spelling
factor
choose
Wrong verb form
to choosing
zoos
as a
acceptable Change the article
an
envronment
for faunas is the value of Correct your spelling
environment
investigation
. Needless to say, the burden Add an article
the investigation
responsibility
for researching Change preposition
of responsibility
on
animal Change preposition
apply
kins
lies in the hands of Fix the agreement mistake
kin
zoos
. Thus
, many scinetists
and biologists work in Correct your spelling
scientists
zoos'
Fix the agreement mistake
zoo'
area
in order to discover Fix the agreement mistake
areas
a
new Correct article usage
apply
exploration
. Fix the agreement mistake
explorations
For example
, the cutting-edge technology of DNA have
been extracted by studying Change the verb form
has
on
Change preposition
apply
species
.
On the other hand
, although
many people are generally agree
Change the verb form
generally agree
to
Change preposition
with
positive
implications of Correct article usage
the positive
zoos
, just
a few would deny Rephrase
only
the
Correct article usage
apply
nature
as the first home of animals
. Clearly, faunas born
in the Add a missing verb
are born
nature
environment and have inherited attachment to their inborn conditions. Replace the word
natural
As a result
, some abnormallies
may be Correct your spelling
abnormalities
accured
when a creature Correct your spelling
accrued
Correct your spelling
has
hase
been Add the auxiliary verb
hase has
seprated
from Correct your spelling
separated
nature
. Subsequently
, it may be conceded living animals
in their own habitat can keep the balance of nature
. Moreover
, zoos
are proved
as a costly environment for the government. Correct your spelling
proven
Undeniebly
, taking care of various kinds Correct your spelling
Undeniably
need
experts and advanced Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
equipments
, Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
need
financial support and human resources. Verb problem
apply
Subsequently
, spending huge money to protecting
all Wrong verb form
protect
of
Change preposition
apply
kinds
of Add an article
the kinds
creaturs
may be considered Correct your spelling
creatures
as
waste for people and governments Correct your spelling
a
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
nature
is free and available for any kinds
of Fix the agreement mistake
kind
animals
.
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
To sum up
, with regard to the foregoing paragraphs it can be stated that nature
is free and acessible
with ease for Correct your spelling
accessible
species
while
zoos
are money spending. Nevertheless
, my firm conviction is that zoos
situation would be more acceptable for Correct your spelling
the
animal
in many facets like Fix the agreement mistake
animals
invetigation
and protection.Correct your spelling
investigation
Submitted by mahdisonbolestan on
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Introduction Clarity
Clarify your introduction by directly stating your stance on the issue. While your position becomes clearer throughout the essay, explicitly mentioning your viewpoint at the beginning would strengthen your argument.
Spelling and Grammar
Try to maintain accuracy with spelling and grammar. Minor errors are noted, such as 'Openinions' (should be 'Opinions'), 'extincation' (should be 'extinction'), and 'accured' (should be 'occurred'). These small inaccuracies can slightly distract from your overall message.
Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more smoothly. While you've structured your essay with clear paragraphs, employing a greater variety of linking words could enhance the flow of your arguments.
Repetition and Variety
Be mindful of repetition in your explanations. Try to vary your language more to avoid redundancy, particularly when discussing the roles of zoos in protection and research.
Balanced Argument
You have provided well-developed arguments for both sides of the debate, showing a balanced consideration.
Relevant Examples
You successfully incorporated specific examples and reasons to support your points, such as the protection of endangered species and the role of zoos in research.
Effective Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarises your viewpoint, reinforcing your stance toward the preference for zoos based on their benefits for investigation and protection.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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