Some people believe zoos are good places for people to learn about animals. Other people believe animals belong in nature and it is wrong to keep them in zoos. What do you think? Explain, giving specific reasons for your choice.

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In the third millennium, protecting
of
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apply

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animals
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is one of
most
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the most

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burning issues.
Openinions
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Opinions

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about how ought to keep
species
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are divided as to
wheter
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whether

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keep
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to keep

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them inside an isolated environment or leave
animals
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alone in
nature
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Hence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
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essay will delve into details of both
point
Change to a plural noun
points

The singular countable noun point follows the quantifier both, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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of view and provide some
tentalizing
Correct your spelling
tantalizing
tantalising

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reasons why
zoos
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have better
condition
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conditions

It seems that condition may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. On the one hand,
proponent
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proponents

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of keeping
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
zoos
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would claim that it is more advantageous for them. One justification often given for
this
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is the role of protection. To clarify, nowadays, many
species
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are at
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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risk of
extincation
Correct your spelling
extinction

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likewise
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Persian tigers and African lions.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
zoos
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

might be a
sutitable
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suitable

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home
to
Change preposition
for

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feeding them
appropriatly
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appropriately

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, providing medicine
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment

It appears that equipments is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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, keeping them
in
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apply

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safe, and ultimately ensuring
of
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their
survive
Replace the word
survival

The word survive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, another
factore
Correct your spelling
factor

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which has led
choose
Wrong verb form
to choosing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb choose. Consider changing it.

show examples
zoos
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as
a
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an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word acceptable.

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acceptable
envronment
Correct your spelling
environment

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for faunas is the value of
investigation
Add an article
the investigation

The noun phrase investigation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. Needless to say, the burden
responsibility
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of responsibility

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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for researching
on
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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animal
kins
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kin

It seems that kins may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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lies in the hands of
zoos
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many
scinetists
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scientists

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and biologists work in
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

zoos'
Fix the agreement mistake
zoo'

It seems that zoos may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas

It seems that area may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in order to discover
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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new
exploration
Fix the agreement mistake
explorations

It seems that exploration may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the cutting-edge technology of DNA
have
Change the verb form
has

The plural verb have does not appear to agree with the singular subject technology. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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been extracted by studying
on
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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species
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

many people
are generally agree
Change the verb form
generally agree

It appears that the form of the verb agree does not work with are in this sentence.

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to
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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positive
Correct article usage
the positive

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implications of
zoos
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
just
Rephrase
only

There may be an adverb issue here.

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a few would deny
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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nature
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as the first home of
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Clearly, faunas
born
Add a missing verb
are born

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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in the
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
nature
Replace the word
natural

The word nature doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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environment and have inherited attachment to their inborn conditions.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some
abnormallies
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abnormalities

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may be
accured
Correct your spelling
accrued

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when a creature
Correct your spelling
has
Correct your spelling
has

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hase
Add the auxiliary verb
hase has
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been
seprated
Correct your spelling
separated

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from
nature
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Subsequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it may be conceded living
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in their own habitat can keep the balance of
nature
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
zoos
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are
proved
Correct your spelling
proven

The word proved doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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as a costly environment for the government.
Undeniebly
Correct your spelling
Undeniably

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, taking care of various kinds
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs

It seems that the verb need does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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experts and advanced
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment

It appears that equipments is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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,
need
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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financial support and human resources.
Subsequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, spending huge money to
protecting
Wrong verb form
protect

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb protecting. Consider changing it.

show examples
all
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
kinds
Add an article
the kinds

The phrase all of kinds may require the use of the article the. Consider inserting the before the noun in your sentence.

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of
creaturs
Correct your spelling
creatures

The word creaturs doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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may be considered
as
Correct your spelling
a

The word as doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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waste for people and governments
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
nature
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is free and available for any
kinds
Fix the agreement mistake
kind

It seems that kinds may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
of
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal

It seems that animals may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, with regard to the foregoing paragraphs it can be stated that
nature
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is free and
acessible
Correct your spelling
accessible

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with ease for
species
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

zoos
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are money spending.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, my firm conviction is that
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
zoos
Correct your spelling
the

The word zoos doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
situation would be more acceptable for
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals

It seems that animal may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
in many facets like
invetigation
Correct your spelling
investigation

If you don’t want invetigation to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and protection.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction Clarity
Clarify your introduction by directly stating your stance on the issue. While your position becomes clearer throughout the essay, explicitly mentioning your viewpoint at the beginning would strengthen your argument.
Spelling and Grammar
Try to maintain accuracy with spelling and grammar. Minor errors are noted, such as 'Openinions' (should be 'Opinions'), 'extincation' (should be 'extinction'), and 'accured' (should be 'occurred'). These small inaccuracies can slightly distract from your overall message.
Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more smoothly. While you've structured your essay with clear paragraphs, employing a greater variety of linking words could enhance the flow of your arguments.
Repetition and Variety
Be mindful of repetition in your explanations. Try to vary your language more to avoid redundancy, particularly when discussing the roles of zoos in protection and research.
Balanced Argument
You have provided well-developed arguments for both sides of the debate, showing a balanced consideration.
Relevant Examples
You successfully incorporated specific examples and reasons to support your points, such as the protection of endangered species and the role of zoos in research.
Effective Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarises your viewpoint, reinforcing your stance toward the preference for zoos based on their benefits for investigation and protection.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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