Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
These days, it is considered that it has
negative
impact Add an article
a negative
for
Change preposition
on
people
and their Use synonyms
society
to eat unhealthy food. Some argue that a ‘fat Use synonyms
tax
’ should be determined by Use synonyms
government
, Add an article
the government
a government
while
others think the task is not necessary because it will be unfair. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion Linking Words
for
Change preposition
on
this
unhealthy food Linking Words
tax
matter.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, many Linking Words
people
say that it is unfair for companies which produce Use synonyms
fat
Replace the word
fatty
foods
when governments decide the Use synonyms
tax
. There are some Use synonyms
people
who buy Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
such
as chips, candies or Linking Words
meets
, because they are cheaper than healthy Correct your spelling
meat
foods
. Use synonyms
Linking Words
However
if the Add a comma
However,
tax
is made, Use synonyms
people
will not purchase that kind of Use synonyms
Use synonyms
foods
, and Fix the agreement mistake
food
then
, the companies' income will decline. Linking Words
As a result
, some individuals will lose their jobs.
Linking Words
However
, I believe eating unhealthy Linking Words
foods
is adverse for Use synonyms
human
and Fix the agreement mistake
humans
society
and Use synonyms
government
should Correct article usage
the government
tax
Use synonyms
for
them. There are many positive impacts when Change preposition
apply
people
stop eating them because of the cost. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
people
can avoid diabetes which is the reason for many Use synonyms
illness
, which is not only Change to a plural noun
illnesses
advantage
for Correct article usage
an advantage
human's
health but Change noun form
human
also
the best way for Linking Words
society
to cut Use synonyms
cost
for medical care, and they Fix the agreement mistake
costs
will
can invest Verb problem
apply
other
facilities Change preposition
in other
finally
.
In conclusion, I consider that Linking Words
government
should Correct article usage
the government
tax
unhealthy food, Use synonyms
although
sometimes it looks unfair. It will Linking Words
leads
Change the verb form
lead
people
and Use synonyms
Use synonyms
society
where they live to more Correct article usage
the society
healthy
in the future.Replace the word
healthier
Submitted by mayu1022.p on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Ensure a balanced coverage of both views before stating your opinion to fully respond to the task.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, adding depth and clarity to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and linking words to improve the flow of ideas and coherence.
language accuracy
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and inaccuracies. Proofreading can help eliminate these issues.
structure
Your essay effectively presents an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showcasing a good structure.
task response
You have presented a clear opinion, which is good for the task response.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphing shows a clear separation of ideas, contributing to the essay's coherence.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.