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Band 2

People nowadays are buying wider range of household things (for example television, rice cooker) than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #range #household #television #rice #cooker #development
Due to
 the rapid growth of technology, the world has come a long way
therefore
 the lifestyle of people has changed a lot in the past few decades. In the midst of change , technology comes with new gadgets
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 to make our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 easier and comfortable. We become so dependable on those
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 that we can not even imagine our life
with out
Correct your spelling
without
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 them . In the current
scenario
Add a comma
scenario,
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 it can be seen that people are more likely to buy
wide
Add an article
a wide
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 range of gadgets which use in households like tv , air
conditioner
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conditioners
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,
vaccum
Correct your spelling
vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
, rice
cooker
Fix the agreement mistake
cookers
show examples
 and many others. There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion. A school of people thinks it's
okey
Correct your spelling
okay
 to upgrade ourselves with new technologies
while
on the contrary
 other communities opine with the notion . In the succeeding monograph , I intend to delve into the statement
as well as
 proffer examples to justify my point of view.
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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coherence
Try to develop your paragraphs more coherently by linking ideas smoothly and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (like firstly, secondly, in addition, however) to help connect your ideas more clearly.
task response
Address both views presented in the prompt and provide specific examples to support your arguments more thoroughly.
introduction
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and indicates that you will explore both sides of the argument.
rewriting
You introduced relevant technology-related examples (e.g., TV, air conditioner, vacuum cleaner) that are directly linked to the essay topic.
context
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the importance of technology in modern life.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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