[ ] An increasing number of people are choosing cosmetic surgery/ plastic surgery. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, the rise of plastic

surgery

Use synonyms

is prominent in almost all countries and even those as young as teenagers

opted

Wrong verb form

opt

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to change their natural facial features

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

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Add a hyphen

first-world

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first world

Add a hyphen

first-world

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

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country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

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as long as they have the capacity to finance

this

Linking Words

expensive procedure

Replace the punctuation

...

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To begin

Linking Words

with, those who have physical issues about what they look like mostly choose to do cosmetic

surgery

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to build

self confidence

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self-confidence

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and

self esteem

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self-esteem

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. Many

people

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are often being bullied because of their appearances

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is the reason why they resort to

surgery

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, those who have an imperfect set of teeth

such

Linking Words

as overbite or underbite will go through the process of wearing braces and for some will do orthodontic

surgery

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

improve their views about themselves.

In addition

Linking Words

, there are those who only want to enhance their health status through plastic

surgery

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This

Linking Words

individual did not have any alternative choice

unless

Correct word choice

but

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to undergo the knife.

For example

Linking Words

people

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who have breathing problems related to nasal will

ungerdo

Correct your spelling

undergo

underdo

cosmetic

surgery

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thus

Linking Words

alleviate

Wrong verb form

alleviating

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their suffering.

Furthermore

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

societys

Correct your spelling

society's

society

norm

Fix the agreement mistake

norms

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people

Use synonyms

tend to alter their physical appearance. There are

people

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who easily get tempted to do so because of how they perceive

this

Linking Words

as the latest trend and many are doing it. It becomes a normal operation.

Such

Linking Words

as, in

korea

Change the capitalization

Korea

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, having a surgical for

double

Correct article usage

a double

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eyelid has been a normal trend

Change preposition

apply

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them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

even

Linking Words

such

Change preposition

at such

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a young age. In conclusion, I believe it depends on personal perspective about cosmetic

surgery

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. It can be

positive

Add an article

a positive

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or negative impact. If it health

Correct your spelling

health-related

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it would be beneficial to the person but if it is because

for

Change preposition

show examples

the sake of trend and no financial capacity to sustain the

surgery

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

would become a burden.

jevilla1188Thu Apr 18 2024

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structure

Remember to focus on clear paragraphing with one main idea per paragraph to enhance readability.

linking words

Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow and coherence of your essay.

grammar

Consider revising your essay for more accurate and varied sentence structures to avoid grammatical errors.

content

For task achievement, ensure to answer both parts of the question clearly and elaborate your points with more developed examples.

examples

You've made a good attempt to provide examples to support your ideas.

conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarises your view, showing your position clearly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

289 words

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[ ] An increasing number of people are choosing cosmetic surgery/ plastic surgery. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

being a celebrity such as star bring a lot of problems and benefits.

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. this is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. teacher need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all cost and go back to teaching basic study skills. do you agree or disagree?

Due to the increase in population in big cities, more and more people are living in small houses with very little or no outdoor space. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Model Answer

More and more people use private cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can the government encourage people to take public transport?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?