[ ] An increasing number of people are choosing cosmetic surgery/ plastic surgery. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #surgery #plastic #operations #change #development

Nowadays, the rise of plastic

surgery

is prominent in almost all countries and even those as young as teenagers

opted

Wrong verb form

opt

show examples

to change their natural facial features

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

Add a hyphen

first-world

show examples

first world

Add a hyphen

first-world

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

as long as they have the capacity to finance

this

expensive procedure

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

To begin

with, those who have physical issues about what they look like mostly choose to do cosmetic

surgery

to build

self confidence

Add a hyphen

self-confidence

show examples

and

self esteem

Add a hyphen

self-esteem

show examples

. Many

people

are often being bullied because of their appearances

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is the reason why they resort to

surgery

For instance

, those who have an imperfect set of teeth

such

as overbite or underbite will go through the process of wearing braces and for some will do orthodontic

surgery

This

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

improve their views about themselves.

In addition

, there are those who only want to enhance their health status through plastic

surgery

This

individual did not have any alternative choice

unless

Correct word choice

but

show examples

to undergo the knife.

For example

people

who have breathing problems related to nasal will

ungerdo

Correct your spelling

undergo

underdo

cosmetic

surgery

thus

alleviate

Wrong verb form

alleviating

show examples

their suffering.

Furthermore

due to

societys

Correct your spelling

society's

society

norm

Fix the agreement mistake

norms

show examples

people

tend to alter their physical appearance. There are

people

who easily get tempted to do so because of how they perceive

this

as the latest trend and many are doing it. It becomes a normal operation.

Such

as, in

korea

Change the capitalization

Korea

show examples

, having a surgical for

double

Correct article usage

a double

show examples

eyelid has been a normal trend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

even

such

Change preposition

at such

show examples

a young age. In conclusion, I believe it depends on personal perspective about cosmetic

surgery

. It can be

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

or negative impact. If it health

Correct your spelling

health-related

show examples

it would be beneficial to the person but if it is because

for

Change preposition

show examples

the sake of trend and no financial capacity to sustain the

surgery

this

would become a burden.

Submitted by jevilla1188 on Thu Apr 18 2024

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linking words

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grammar

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content

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examples

You've made a good attempt to provide examples to support your ideas.

conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarises your view, showing your position clearly.

Your opinion

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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[ ] An increasing number of people are choosing cosmetic surgery/ plastic surgery. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. So, some people suggest that companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree ?

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

Nowadays, stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think is the cause of this? What solution can you suggest?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?