Although abuse of the system is inevitable, social welfare payments are essential to protect the rights that citizens have to a guaranteed minimum income in a democratic society. Do you agree or disagree?
In some countries,
government
has provided welfare Add an article
the government
payment
for Fix the agreement mistake
payments
people
who are unemployed especially those who got laid off. Some people
believe that,
welfare companies should make unemployed Remove the comma
apply
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
work
for them in exchange for the money they receive. In my opinion, paying people
for doing nothing is not rational, except for those who have disabilities or suffer from a health problem. In this
essay, I am going to discuss this
issue and give give
my personal point of view.
I would like to start my discussion by writing about the Remove the redundancy
apply
opposed
idea. These Replace the word
opposing
people
claim that welfare companies may exploit the
unemployed Correct article usage
apply
people
by asking them to do labouring jobs without enough payment. Moreover
, many of those people
have some professional skills that can be used in other relevant sectors.
On the other hand
, those who are in favour of making unemployed people
work
, believe there are several potential advantages to that. Firstly
, the main purpose of working is not just earning income. Having a job can potentially improve self-esteem and self-confidence therefore
, people
will feel much better about themselves. Thirdly
, the experiences gained provide other opportunities for the
future careers. Correct article usage
apply
Accordingly
, being employed is beneficial for them and will give them a sense of purpose.
To conclude
, based on what is discussed above, i
believe that, going to Change the capitalization
I
work
has lots of significant advantages. It means that making unemployed people
work
is a good idea.Submitted by bryan.dasco on
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Introduction Clarity
Ensure you directly address the central statement of the prompt in your introduction. Clarifying your stance immediately helps the reader understand your perspective right from the beginning.
Position Consistency
Maintain a clear position throughout your essay. While discussing opposing views is beneficial, ensure your own viewpoint is clear and prominent throughout.
Use of Cohesive Devices
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs. This includes transition words and phrases that show contrast, cause and effect, and addition.
Use of Examples
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. This strengthens your claims and provides a clearer insight into your reasoning.
Structure
You have structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is excellent for readability.
Discussion Balance
Your essay maintains a good balance of discussing both sides of the argument, which shows an ability to engage with complex ideas.
Conclusion Clarity
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your perspective, providing a clear stance on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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