IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some schools start teaching a foreign language in primary school years. Do the advantages of teaching foreign languages to young children outweigh its disadvantages?

#schools #language #school #years #languages #children
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Foreign
language
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 training in a
kid
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's early school time is a crucial step developed by some educational institutions. It has a plethora of benefits and a few drawbacks which will be discussed
further
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 in
this
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 essay. From my perspective, its advantages are overcoming the negative outcomes of
this
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 trend.
To begin
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 with, there are a myriad of reasons that help learners
while
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 learning a new
language
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. One upside of learning a new dialect is that it will open up vast opportunities for a learner.
For instance
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, many candidates who desire to immigrate to other nations have to get their communication abilities tested by taking tests
such
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 as IELTS for English which is only possible if they
had
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have
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 already grasped
such
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 capabilities during their school lives.
In addition
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, learning
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language
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a language
show examples
 at a young age is easier than at an adult age. Young minds are impressionable and could be easily trained from
a
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the
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 ground level. Kids have some brain circuits to develop their
language
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 centres which remain active throughout an early phase of their life and
further
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diminishes
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diminish
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 when they grow up.
Thus
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, it is crucial to start the new
language
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 training at
primary
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the primary
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 education level.
On the contrary
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,
the
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apply
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school life has to be
little
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a little
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 bit enjoyable for a
kid
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. Adding a foreign
language
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 to the curriculum causes
an
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apply
show examples
extra pressure on a
kid
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's
mind
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. To exemplify, a child is very creative when he gets leisure moments to explore himself and analyze his thoughts and a free
mind
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 becomes more inventive. But, an occupied
mind
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 with burdens of
numeous
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numerous
 tests can never retain
such
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 extraordinary abilities. In conclusion,
with
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apply
show examples
some negative impacts of overburdening a
kid
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's
mind
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 cannot undermine the
overall
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 amazing benefits of foreign
language
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 learning
such
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 as expanding the horizons of
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mind
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the mind
show examples
 and opportunities available for an individual.
Submitted by Kiran on

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Example Balance
Be sure to balance the use of examples across your arguments to strengthen your points. Adding more specific examples, especially in discussing the disadvantages, could provide a more balanced viewpoint.
Argument Development
Try to elaborate more on the disadvantages to fully explore both sides of the argument. This helps in demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Transition Improvement
Consider refining your transitions between ideas for smoother flow and clarity. Phrases that link your points more explicitly could enhance the coherence of your essay.
Introduction and Conclusion
You have effectively introduced and concluded your essay, establishing a clear position on the topic.
Logical Structure
Your essay presents a logical structure, making it easier for the reader to follow your reasoning.
Idea Clarity
Clear and comprehensive presentation of the advantages related to early foreign language learning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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